bright countryside dawn daylight
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Today was the best day ever, she thought to herself as she put on her outside clothes, so she could play in her family’s woods.

She always woke with more joy than she ever had going to sleep at night. Night time could be scary and unpredictable for her,  when she put her head to her pillow. She really did not like those dreams that she often had, dreams…perhaps nightmares. She often tried to see how long she could actually stay awake at night. Sometimes, she would sneak to the kitchen and make herself some instant coffee, hoping it would help in keeping her awake. Sadly, it could not keep her tired eyes open.

Well, today she determined she was going to have a fun time pretending in the woods. So she quickly went to work, sweeping the wood floor free from falling pine needles and debris that had accumulated since she was last out. She always liked to keep her wood home clean and organized.  She used a branch with scattered limbs to sweep with. She had shoes to sweep the other things. She never liked to let her pathways get cluttered, so she did this almost all the time.

No one ever visited her when she was in the woods. There she was free, free to be what she wanted, do what she wanted and just simply be a kid. For most kids her age they would not look at that the same way she did, but for her, she always had. It was innate in her, like having to breathe, almost. She felt one with those woods and they returned their love for her, by letting her explore, dream, imagine, and create. Nothing else in her life at that time was as stable and as permanent. She also liked the fact that no one would mess with her there. Unlike, if she was in her house. Seemed someone always found her and she was never at ease.

The woods became her pretend apartment, her fortress against the ghosts, her house with lots of rooms, her hotel for small animals and so much more. There is no way to describe the many things her little heart could imagine up. She longed for the day her little brother would roam with her in the woods and she often  imagined it would be great and that she would have someone who shared her love and appreciation for it all.

Her little brother was born when she was seven years old. He was a chubby little guy and he was strange to her at first. She could not understand all the fuss when it came to him, with the adults. She kind of felt like she was invisible sometimes, but that was okay to her, for if she appeared invisible, no one would bother her, and she would free to be herself. She did not want a baby in the house but here he was and she was okay with it.

topless toddler with pants sitting on white surface while looking up
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Her baby brother was growing so fast that she hardly remembered his firs couple years there at the house. But the one thing that haunted her mind about his baby years was the fact that her mamma was gone a lot. She remembers one day she was sat down and told that her mom was not going to be home. She was confused and scared. Her father and grandmother explained that her mamma was sent to see a doc and had to have surgery and that the doc did the wrong thing and her mamma was not doing well enough to come home. So, she would be in the hospital for a while.

white bed comforter
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What!!! Had her family lost their minds, what did this all mean? She overheard her father talking to his mom and explaining that the doctor cut the wrong thing when he did surgery and that her mom almost bled to death. There was more talk about it but she kept replaying the words, “About bled to death” over and over. She quickly ran to her mother’s side of the bed and hugged her pillow. She hugged it so tight and she cried for her mom and asked God to bring her back home. She kept her mom’s pillow in her own bed till her mom  was back. She would sniff it endlessly and the smell that she smelt reminder her of her mother. She was as close as she could be to her mom, and wanted her mom back desperately.

Sometimes things replayed in her head…

Sometimes her life was so weird and scary. She just wanted her mom back. She wanted her to be alright. 

If wishes came true, her’s would come true and sooner than she imagined her mom would actually come back home to her. She waited and waited, and did her best to be strong. She was the lady of the house now and her job was just starting…

To be continued…

 

Thank you for reading 🙂

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