Ice or Heat?


It’s my life…/ personal share


focus photography of a ignited firewood
Photo by on

It was always cold in here, not one bit of heat, except from my teacup poodle, who I kept beside me to help with warmth. I never knew why my room was always the coldest one in the house. Perhaps it was because my door to my bedroom was always to stay shut and we only had a fireplace with which to keep the house warm. Much of that house was cold…in a different sense. Why was my brother allowed to keep his door to his bedroom open and mine had to be closed? I bet it was because when it came to him, nothing was second best,, he always had the choice among choices, the supreme choice, as far as my mom was concerned. He was much younger than me but that did not really matter or put his needs in their proper order of ages. What he wanted, he always, somehow, no matter if needed or not, he got .

Back to the heat issue…

My room was next to the living room and across from my room was my brother’s room. So we both should have received warmth from the living room’s fireplace, just my opinion, of course. I often dreaded winter time because I knew I would freeze through the night and have to stay bundled up under a tremendous amount of cover. My poor little dog was always shivering and I bought him a sweater to put on during the winter months. He was a mere 5 pounds, dripping wet. He was my best friend and more than not, my protector. Anytime my mother would barge in my room, disgruntled or in a bad mood, she would start her tirade of demeaning words and my dog, would take a guarded defense stance across my lap as if to protect me. It was a good thing my dog was scary to my mother or he would have surely been hurt doing his guard of me. I appreciated him on that fact alone, he was an ankle biter to all but me. The lack of heat was not my only issue at my parent’s house growing up but one I am choosing to share.

What was it that made my room off-limits to the heat from our fireplace? Why did I have to stay cold while the other family members were warm and toasty. In fact my parents camped out on our couch bed I the winter time, because they wanted to stay warm. Their bedroom was in the back of the hall where there was also a bathroom, and my bedroom and my brother’s. So if my parents needed to stay warm, just imagine the cold I felt inside my bedroom. I was at my biggest weight 105 pounds. I was petite and small framed and needed a lot of warmth back in those days. Haha. I can’t say that now, in fact I run from heat, just kidding, but seriously close to the truth.

A lot of things come to mind when I think of my parent’s house, my childhood life. Not everything was bad there, but there was ways that would make a person question what  the reason behind their actions could have been. I was often not as “special” to my parents as my sister, or brother. I did not even have to hear those words, because they showed me. I am not sure what causes parents to treat their children with such difference and disdain. Being a mother I have a lot of things I would like to change about my children but they are who they are, and they all are special to me in one way, shape, or form. I really hope they know that.

Anyway,  I hope you treat your loved ones with the love they deserve and nothing less.

Each person is an individual, no two the same, if people were clones we would never be “special”.

Thanks for reading,

MwsR ❤