I was adopted and once had two mothers. Once thought I was loved beyond measure. Seems like neither one of them were unselfish enough to love me whole heartedly. I have since started a new life, with a family I love and cherish. I had to go forward in life and stop reaching behind into my past. I am without one mother , she died five years ago. I am without the other one because she chose her life , in denial, and running from things I reminded her of.
Although, I loved them both. I have had to remember that is not a reflection on me. That is not who I can and will be. I do not have to carry all that love and loss with me like a part of my soul. Sadly, it still bothers me. But I will continue in my journey of life, trying desperately to forgive myself for carrying all that guilt, shame, and loneliness. I am better because of my past. I am free to love, laugh, and live.
If you struggle with being rejected, or losing a life of love because of someone, or a loss of a parents love that you so desperately seek, I am sorry. It is not a pleasant thing to have to live down or get over. You have to keep going, keep loving, keep accepting love, because you are WORTH IT. Learn to forgive those people who have hurt you, move on. The best thing I did for myself was to love from a distance. Forgiveness came hard but I gave it, to them. I can say I love them and still be the me, I am.
Peace and Love, MwsR
Two Instead Of One
Two instead of one
One died and the other did run
No exchanges or words
This is so absurd
Two instead of one
Left me in different ways
I am forever a stray
It should not be that way!
Two instead of one
Too much guilt and pride for some
Running in a race, but not for fun
I use to look for them to come
Now two instead of one
Mother’s and I should of won
Their love and attention, some
Don’t you think so, huh?
MwsR
Mws R Writings 