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There was a place I went to frequently, back in my younger years. It was a place I felt I could sneak to and where I could DISAPPEAR. This place was a secret, no one knew about. I went there on days when I was feeling “blue”. Often times it was a place that I could hide and cry if I needed to. I was amongst my dolls and things, a place I felt that I was meant for me. This place was my closet.
My closet has louver doors, that opened and closed with wheels at the bottom that followed a grid, much like an accordion. There were 2 sets. I loved them because they slid and because while inside the closet you could peer out through the cracks in the louvered doors. They were painted white on the outside, as well as on the inside. I guess the only thing that was wrong with those doors was if you accidentally pinched the skin on your fingers or hands trying to use them. This happened quite a few times to my recollection.
My closet was filled with my clothes, toys, and dolls, not to mention book bags, and forgotten items. I fixed my closet so that I could go inside and stay for a spell depending on my reasons, which were usually to DISAPPEAR. See, anytime my parents were upset with me, or I was in trouble, I found myself longing to be inside my closet and hidden away from all the things that upset me. Often times I ran to my closet because I was wanting to be safe, safe from situations that made me uncomfortable and seemed to diminished my smile.
For a kid this was a great place to go to. A place surrounded by their favorite things and yet hidden away from the turmoil outside in the real world. I loved my closet, it saved my spirit on many an occasion. I often feel myself wanting to gravitate to a closet similar in nature, on certain occasions, still today. Oh, if things were that simple again! Now, I cannot disappear when I feel sad or upset, but once it was what “saved me’.
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