It’s Gonna Kill Me(thoughts about Diabetes)
It’s going to kill me!
Was what I had in my head immediately.
I can’t afford the medicine
I don’t follow a strict regimen.
Now what will I have to give up in my life?
Will I still be a good wife?
What will people say?
Will they stay with me or walk away?
I can not donate my pancreas or blood
Sort of like a flower stem wishing for a bud.
I have a bad part inside of me,
Never thought this was how my life would be.
Maybe I wasn’t nice enough
Or too tough.
Maybe I deserve my lot
Or all that with Diabetes I’ve got.
These thoughts have entered my mind,
Especially the one that reminds me that with Diabetes you can go blind.
It’s a scary disease.
It makes you want to be able to freeze,
Freeze that good blood sugar,so you want have one that is bad
But truth is this disease really makes me mad.
Makes me mad that I cannot choose what I want to eat or drink.
Mad, because it makes me always have to think.
Sometimes I just want to be at ease with food choices
Sometimes I want to listen to those eat sugar voices.
Mostly though I want to live happily,
Mainly because of my family.
But ultimately I want to give hope and keep hope.
I don’t want to know what it’s like to be at the end of the “survival rope”.
If in words I can share
I will also be able to show that I care.