It’s Gonna Kill Me(thoughts about Diabetes)
By MwsR

It’s going to kill me!
Was what I had in my head immediately.
I can’t afford the medicine
I don’t follow a strict regimen.

Now, what will I have to give up in my life?
Will I still be a good wife?
What will people say?
Will they stay with me or walk away?

I can not donate my pancreas or blood
Sort of like a flower stem wishing for a bud.
I have a bad part inside of me,
I never thought this was how my life would be.

Maybe I wasn’t nice enough
Or too tough.
Maybe I deserve my lot
Or all that with Diabetes I’ve got.

These thoughts have entered my mind,
Especially the one that reminds me that with Diabetes you can go blind.

It’s a scary disease.
It makes you want to be able to freeze,
Freeze that good blood sugar, so you want to have a bad.
But the truth is this disease really makes me mad.
It makes me mad that I cannot choose what I want to eat or drink.
Mad, because it makes me always have to think.

Sometimes I just want to be at ease with food choices
Sometimes I want to listen to those eat sugar voices.
Mostly though I want to live happily,
Mainly because of my family.
But ultimately I want to give hope and keep hope.
I don’t want to know what it’s like to be at the end of the “survival rope”.

If in words I can share
I will also be able to show that I care.

Thank you for reading 🙂

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