It has gotten too easy to say to you all
I almost think sometimes, I had imagined it all.
The hurtful words, the criticisms, and the lies
Like in the hottest crime book novel, I am the spy
The wet spots on my pillows that laid on my bed
It is kind of easier to think it all was in my head.
Dreams of you seldom come this way
But then again, what is there left to say?
I tossed many a nights thinking about what ifs,
The fallback was me, the goodbye was to me, I was the riff.
I desperately sought your approval in the earlier days
Thinking by some sudden miracle I could erase the overbearing haze.
Foolish I was, but trying to belong I was always
Trying so hard, but never so much again, in all ways
How did it become so much more easier to say goodbye,
Then to hold each other close, and try to dry a tearing eye?
How was it that you became as mundane as what to wear?
If even that is saying I care.
Too easy for you to forget about me,
to pick up where things were before me, I see.
It is all like reading about someone else and their life,
Skipping through the pages, trying to skim to see
If in fact is was even really me.