I think that this past week has taught me a lot about others, and myself.
I went to see my dying sister and it was an image I think I will never shake from my mind. Seems like time was not on her side but allowed her to be around to say her farewells to her loved ones, which is way more than what others get. I am glad she had that time. I am glad I had that time to say goodbye to her. She was a rather comical sister. She laughed and loved to make others laugh. I saw glimpses of that when I went to visit her. That brought some comfort to the situation, to know she could still joke and be comical, facing the end of her life.
Sometimes funerals and saying goodbyes to a dear one is more for those saying goodbye than for those that are passing on from this life. It is those who pas away suddenly and most unexpectantly that are hardest , I think, to bear. We do not get to say our final blessings or what have you to those who pass without warning. It is hard to live with sometimes, and it can cause such pain.
This past weekend was the service for my sister. It was wall to wall with people , some standing for lack of seats and some that stood in the door way area. It was amazing to see how many people came to say their farewells. Everyone had words of love and fond remembrance of my sister. I saw two pictures of her when she was much younger. It was uncanny at resemblances of her and I heard from several people how I looked like her, and it was bittersweet.
I think what I learned most was that people have a hard time with death and while others don’t, there is still the fear of the unknown after we leave here. I saw and heard from people who regretted not having more time and others who wished things had have been different for their relationship with my sister. I learned that we as humans have a hard time letting go. I know that we as humans, cling to things and have a fear of living a life outside of our pain. Sometimes, we try to punish ourselves by staying in a constant mourning, so to speak, and we will not let ourselves truly carry on with our own lives.
Sometimes, life can sink right down into our very soul and in doing so, we cannot ever truly free ourselves of things like remorse, guilt, tragedy, terrible times, hard times, and things that were not pleasant. We have to , you hear me, we have to! We are not meant to carry every single thing that we regret or have done wrong or that has happened in our life on our own shoulders and especially things that connect to our soul. It is impossible to live our lives in a SHADOW of who and what we were meant to be. We must forgive our past judgements, mistakes, regrets, and lack of’s. We are human and we will not always do things the right way, say all there needs to be said , or even treat people the way they should be treated, no matter how hard we try.
What I took away with me from this terrible week was to cherish the good moments the fleeting ones too.
- Make the most of every person, every opportunity you can.
- Do not wait for tomorrow may not come.
- Forgive those that wronged you
- Forgive those who are still wronging you.
- Love yourself enough to say, “That is okay to walk away from stress and conflict.”
- Let things go.
- Love with your true self, regardless of what others think.
- If God is in your life, cling to him, he will cling to you.
- Make amends, as best you can. Sometimes others will not give you a chance to do this, it is not your fault. It is something within their own heart that needs to change. Sadly sometimes that never happens. Try and accept it.
- Do not stay silent when things are in conflict, use your love and let it guide your mouth.
- It is okay to be HUMAN.
- Accept that not everyone in your life will love you for being you and that is okay.
And in closing this thought…
Please allow yourself some happiness and forgiveness and love.