In The Storm by MwsR
Amid the storm,
I can find shelter
My ears cannot keep from hearing the thunder.
With eyes I see the power
And know something greater is out there,
I can feel the rain that’s in the air.
Although it is greater and stronger than me
I can rest assured I will be alright
Even if it keeps me up at night.
For as great as a storm can be
It will not last forever, for me.
I will continue after the storm has past
Mighty it may be at the time, it will not last.
Outside My Window, MwsR
Outside my window,
Life passes by
I watch it each day
To take a look,
Connects you somehow.
Things and nature are moving
They have things to do
You can go look outside your window too!
Usually the wind is slightly blowing
There is music in the movement of it all
Not one thing is pretending
This is real life
Life that needs to be noticed
Things will eventually die
Take the opportunity
Seize the moments
Outside my window
I find I am merely a speck
In a big world.
All rights reserved. MwsR2021
She was someone I never got to know
Holding onto some idea of how it was to go.
I studied each picture, all the time
Trying to find resemblance of her in this face of mine.
My siblings say I look like her so
My heart held onto that and tried to never say “no”
For if I was like her even in looks
She would of stuck it out, and I’d never be forsook.
I think about her often, it has been five years now
Since I said my final goodbye and my world was turned around.
Mother she was but not in the sense of a relationship or in name
She never earned that with me, it’s a shame.
I was adopted out to my aunt and uncle
It was a different kind of struggle.
They cherished me not, loved me little
I was tormented and caught in the middle.
Mother was not the way I knew my life giver
Even though her blood runs through my veins
She was a life giver, for that I am grateful
But it changes very little.
When I think of her, as I often do
I wish she had been a mother too.
Some people come into our life for a specific purpose
They might not realize it at first
I think she knew that my life began with her
But that it would continue without her.
She may had of had feelings like a mother would for me,
Yet I could not see.
So life can grab us and weigh us down
It gives us struggles that can cause lots of frowns
It’s all is in how you measure what your portions are
That when you can start to repair your heart.
As I am learning to do,
Taking the little I had and working it through.
All rights reserved. 2021 MwsR
Well, it had been some time since Blue had allowed herself to think about the family conflicts that she went through, growing up. She sometimes felt a tug in her heart, and then it seemed things would just start to flood her mind and come straight from her heart. Sometimes remembering was too painful, and yet other times it cleaned out her broken heart. When you are young it seems that the whole world has opportunity. You often allow yourself to dream and hope, because you believe in the good of people.
Blue knew that she had to keep hope in her heart. She knew that life without that would be meaningless and cruel. This day she felt so lonely. She hoped that those she trusted in enough to tell her story to, would believe her. She needed to know that her heart, her words mattered. Feeling this way often led to self pity. She knew she was not the only one in the world whose family had deserted them. She also knew that that despite it all, it could had been so very much worse. She had survived. She lived to tell her experience and she knew others would not survive or go on to lead a “normal” life.
Life was still precious to her. Here she was a young adult. She had some good memories, like walking in the garden with her grandmother and learning things from her. Things like that brought her back to the land of the living. She was battered and torn but she still was living. Each day brought a new set of circumstances, a new perspective, and a way to be “happy”. So much of her childhood was shadowed by her need to fit in, to belong, to be loved, to be treated right. Often she allowed herself to think of a day when her family would be apologetic and loving towards her. It was just thoughts in reality, and never has it come to be.
A person can spend their whole life wondering. They can rely on “what if’s” and” never really be “free.” Blue was no exception. She knew that along her way, she had once believed with her whole heart. She once allowed herself to trust completely in someone’s word. That was once, once upon a time. Now she was half trusting, half hearted believing, and seeking no more “what if’s”. Life just takes that away from you sometimes. It just leaves you half of what you used to be. It also gives you half dreams, half a person’s heart, and half of the happiness you deserve. You learn to half love, to share only half of yourself for fear of losing the half that you have of what is left inside.
Why would a person hurt someone that they were sent to protect and love? What inside a person causes them to act towards another in such a despicable way? Blue guessed she would never understand the reasons why her “father” treated her like an object of gratification. She would never understand how her tears were not enough to stop him in his tracts. Perhaps she was just vulnerable enough to be his prey. Maybe her heart made her weak. Why would her mother turn on her instead of help her? She did not understand what a mother’s love could do, until she , herself, became one. As a mother, she would never allow a man to hurt her children. It would take heaven or hell to stop her from hurting someone like that. Was her mother not a strong mother? Was Blue not enough to love and protect?
In a perfect world, Blue would never have to doubt her mother’s love and devotion to her. In a perfect world her “father” would only love her like a daughter, and her brother and sister would of been by her side. But this is not a perfect world, is it? Blue needed her mother. She needed her family. She needed a love that would last through her life. One that nothing else could replace. For now she will be the better example of what she needed for her own self and for her own family.
So Antiquated by MwsR
The room can get cold
Even with its familiar ways
Too little effort can be given any time of day
Voices repeat what they’ve heard before
Time to close the chapter on the open door
Rest for the body
Repeat for the mind
Nothing is ever too gentle or too kind
Life stops for only short brief pauses
Then it falls back in line
There can be so much push from behind
Strangely things will appear
First in a moment of silence, then through the tears
Have we not lived to love?
Has our hearts not been enough?
Tranquil, thinking for a spell
We all pretend, we know how to so well.
No judges, because there are no saints
Just people who live life, so quaint
Forgetting the struggles for a mere measure of time
But still, they are not blind
They just chose the path
Stay away from the wrath
And swallow happiness like they swallow air
It soaks into their skin,
Ever so often.