My sadness comes calling like an old friend
Brain and heart disheartened
Pulling me in towards those locked away feelings
A spin off of my nightmares versus my hopes and dreams
More than not, burdens of my feelings weight me down
Abuse was not my doing or liking
Then why must it be a part of me still?
Why must it encroach on my space and spread over my face?
No makeup can cover all this
I want to put these emotions out to pasture
Never to bring them back home again.
Let them die out in a field of clover.
Sprinkled with the piles of crap from those ”animals”
My life should mean more
Than this abuse, I implore.
Sadness, remembering, and a lot of hurt feelings
Chased by a strong cup of forgiveness pie.
I am to mean more than an abused one
I want to be more.
When I look in the mirror, I am more.
Abused, survivor, and strong
Now, that’s how I am
Who I am and was,
You had the power
I was weak
You took my trust
I gave it to you
No love that was true
That is what I saw, when I saw you.
You stole my innocence
I played the game
You tookmy respect
I took the blame
You hurt me deeper
I felt the pain
You were not a real dad
I only had your name
Lies you told
Lies that I felt
You never will get that chance again
I will never let you.