Behind by MwsR

Lurking behind the curtains,

Hiding in the shadows

There is danger.

There’s a danger that is created

Lots of pain is in store

Screams that come out from under your door.

Secrets that wish to stay hidden

Hurts that you cannot imagine

In the air is deception, selfishness, and harm

In a home of abuse you are never safe.

Your will is betrayed.

Noone cares about your moaning

No one comes to rescue you

Behind the four walls, of your house.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Afraid by MwsR

To know what it was like back then

You should picture an animal pen.

One where there is a small place to move around

Where if you scream you still cannot be found.

A place that would keep you

Keep you to be in view.

A place where your safety is void.

People would pass by and around

Looking at you but never making a sound.

You would be alone

Even this would become home.

Anything could happen, any given day

It really was that way!

You were trapped, you had fear

From the very one you held dear.

Afraid and alone,

A reality for you but not those at your home.

Secrets that presented themselves always were ignored

Passing words or actions, lay buried on the floor.

Noone helped, not one single soul

That was your life in this pen that became a hole.

Afraid hardly covers the sins that were there,

Seemed like no one would ever care.

But one day, the fear had taken a ride,

Out came the things that were buried inside

Finally someone listened, looked in and came

Took her out of the pen and she overcame.

Afraid to ever be there again,

She left a lot of her kin.

Never to return, or be that afraid again, of that man.

Photo by MART PRODUCTION on Pexels.com

All rights reserved. @MwsR2021

Blue Needed You

Well, it had been some time since Blue had allowed herself to think about the family conflicts that she went through, growing up. She sometimes felt a tug in her heart, and then it seemed things would just start to flood her mind and come straight from her heart. Sometimes remembering was too painful, and yet other times it cleaned out her broken heart. When you are young it seems that the whole world has opportunity. You often allow yourself to dream and hope, because you believe in the good of people.

Blue knew that she had to keep hope in her heart. She knew that life without that would be meaningless and cruel. This day she felt so lonely. She hoped that those she trusted in enough to tell her story to, would believe her. She needed to know that her heart, her words mattered. Feeling this way often led to self pity. She knew she was not the only one in the world whose family had deserted them. She also knew that that despite it all, it could had been so very much worse. She had survived. She lived to tell her experience and she knew others would not survive or go on to lead a “normal” life.

Life was still precious to her. Here she was a young adult. She had some good memories, like walking in the garden with her grandmother and learning things from her. Things like that brought her back to the land of the living. She was battered and torn but she still was living. Each day brought a new set of circumstances, a new perspective, and a way to be “happy”. So much of her childhood was shadowed by her need to fit in, to belong, to be loved, to be treated right. Often she allowed herself to think of a day when her family would be apologetic and loving towards her. It was just thoughts in reality, and never has it come to be.

A person can spend their whole life wondering. They can rely on “what if’s” and” never really be “free.” Blue was no exception. She knew that along her way, she had once believed with her whole heart. She once allowed herself to trust completely in someone’s word. That was once, once upon a time. Now she was half trusting, half hearted believing, and seeking no more “what if’s”. Life just takes that away from you sometimes. It just leaves you half of what you used to be. It also gives you half dreams, half a person’s heart, and half of the happiness you deserve. You learn to half love, to share only half of yourself for fear of losing the half that you have of what is left inside.

Why would a person hurt someone that they were sent to protect and love? What inside a person causes them to act towards another in such a despicable way? Blue guessed she would never understand the reasons why her “father” treated her like an object of gratification. She would never understand how her tears were not enough to stop him in his tracts. Perhaps she was just vulnerable enough to be his prey. Maybe her heart made her weak. Why would her mother turn on her instead of help her? She did not understand what a mother’s love could do, until she , herself, became one. As a mother, she would never allow a man to hurt her children. It would take heaven or hell to stop her from hurting someone like that. Was her mother not a strong mother? Was Blue not enough to love and protect?

In a perfect world, Blue would never have to doubt her mother’s love and devotion to her. In a perfect world her “father” would only love her like a daughter, and her brother and sister would of been by her side. But this is not a perfect world, is it? Blue needed her mother. She needed her family. She needed a love that would last through her life. One that nothing else could replace. For now she will be the better example of what she needed for her own self and for her own family.


Dominion by MwsR

Image result for child abuse

“Sometimes in one’s own mind, we must create the life we wish we had. I was good at that, back then. But then again, I was given no choice.” MwsR

Which day was it that I lost me?

Surely someone else had to see

There were things that changed within me

Certainly, someone must of noticed it all

Perhaps it all was so subtle and I was small

I understand the “turning a blind eye”

At my expense though, and all of it still makes me cry

You were the adult, the one who was in power

So why over me did you tower

Maybe it was a certain disposition

Undoubtedly a grown ups condition

Because before you I was not aware

That people like you, were out there

The only thing left in tact back then was my innocence

My desire to imagine and invent

I was a pro at it,

Guess I had to act

Because for me reality would of set me back

It would have made me a “quack”

Imagining was my soul’s companion

Surrounded by your twisted dominion.

It’s Not Alright, by MwsR

***A poem about abuse be it physical or verbal…..*****You don’t have to lay a finger on someone to hurt them.

It’s not Alright

By MwsR

It’s not alright to make a person cry

To make another person want to die.

You think you’re powerful but you are weak

One day you’ll lose that “winning streak”.

Another’s heart is not yours to break

There is so much more, know what’s at stake.

Don’t make yourself their biggest mistake.

Making someone regret the day they met you

Is an error against you it’s true.

People aren’t perfect you see

No one asks, “Come belittle me”.

Maybe it is not physical torture but what you say

Maybe it projects out your mouth day today.

If you can’t leave someone better than you found them at first

Then leave without an outburst.

A man is not to be treated like that

To be used as a doormat.

A simple rule of thumb…if you don’t want it, Don’t give it.

Life isn’t simple or fair

But don’t hurt another….don’t you dare.

Things have a way of coming back to you

Don’t believe me? But it’s true.

Poem(To the tune of ” hush little baby”)

Often there are those who have tormented lives. They don’t see hope. They can’t believe in good things again. This poem is coming from an abused child, who’s father abused her.

Hush little lady don’t say a word

Pappa is going to be down right disturbed.

When the night calls

He will be your downfall

And hope will be fleeting from your heart.

Hush little child you are fair game

To the adult that carries no blame

He will abuse you while others sleep

And nothing will ever peaceful keep.

Rush to whomever, tell them no lies

Ask for their pardon, watching their eyes

They won’t believe you and this is sad

For what he did do, he isn’t labeled bad.

Hush now adult that once was a child

You were once labeled and disowned

Fear not you’ll make it, if you can leave

All of that heartache, please just believe.