The hurt is mine
It grows with each day that is absent of you
I know that it is my burden to bear.
Mine to endure, mine to keep it inside.
I feel sometimes in searching for answers to things, my heart will surely die.
Like a prisoner, I do time for things that I feel.
Things that make me feel like a human, like “real”
I understand not everything has answers for an ailing mind
But somehow I thought answers I would one day find.
If I had known all my feelings would be swept into a forbidden corner,
One that no one cares about,
One that separates me from others for life…
To get inside certain packages, one must use a knife,
My feelings were inside,
It took time to get them opened up,
But it happened, despite my unbelief.
I will never be a closed up heart again,
But that does not mean my heart will mend.
I hurt, I feel so alone with it all.
My only answer to this insane is God.
He hears my cries, comforts my excruciating tries.
He lifts me up so I can see a new and different place to feel safe.
If he could let me borrow another heart, just once
I would let it display out loud and strongly.
I would not hide it, and let it crush me.
That is what I would do.