Tag Archives: Feelings

Shatter-ling, By MwsR

Nothing was worse then the thoughts in her own mind. Sometimes she looked for a place to which she could hide. Often she sat and her mind worked through a situation.One that had not happened and that really gave her no satisfaction. Why must she torture herself that way? What was the reason in her mind she would replay? Things that needed to be forgotten, people in her life that always seemed rotten. This was the way most of her mind would be, she was not sure, ever, what tomorrow would bring. She was a Shatter-ling. She was easily shattered. It sometimes took just a look, but mostly it was from mean and hurtful chatter. Whenever she was faced with what others thought of her ways, she felt cornered and caged, just like an animal, who has to stand against someone else’s rage.

She would literally shatter a little more than the last time. Maybe it all was something just in her own mind. Either way she could not seem to matter, instead each argument, each taunt, would send her spiraling down the highway of matter, back to where she would eventually shatter. Being a Shatter-ling meant things would not bounce off of her, instead they penetrated her. Each time would be like the first, to her. Didn’t matter much if it was intentional or not, all she knew is it hurt the same , as if someone threw at her, a giant rock. To be a Shatter-ling was not a good thing, it was hard and trying, and a very difficult thing. She wished she could be like her friends and family, the ones who let things go past, and the ones who never seemed to be affected by someone’s tongue lash. She just wasn’t. She probably never would.

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“Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance.”

― Brian Tracy

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MwsR Writings

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?=Unnamed In My Dreams

I had a dream of sorts last night. It was peculiar and hard to read. I did not write it down, but I should have. I seldom talk to anyone about my dreams unless they were particularly disturbing or funny. This one was about coming face to face with my ?. I remember seeing the scruff on his unshaven face, his wrinkles around the ends of his eyes. He had sort of a glow like the sun on his face, yet his face was tilted to look at me sideways. He was smiling a smirk type of smile. He was not saying anything. Which if you knew him in real life was his trade mark. He seldom spoke unless he was talking to someone in the family, or a “have to situation.”

He was the one who truly messed up my life. He willingly tore the trust notion I had inside of myself, out from my body. I would not in a hundred years, want to dream of him. Never. I do not know what this short, yet, the penetrating dream was about. I do not want to interpret it, because it needs to be the farthest from my mind. This dream, if you can call it that, was a dream where SMIRKISM was at its profound meaning. My ?, no doubt, and that terrible smirk. The sun glowing on his face as if he were an angel, comes to mind. Ha, no angel there. No glowing from him ever was shown. Only bitterness and dark.

I hate those moments. The ones where you wake in a tizzy of sorts and find that you had a weird or strange dream. I especially hate the bad dreams and the ones that make you awake with tears in your eyes. Those are most disturbing and chilling. Have you ever had any of those kinds of dreams? I hope you know oyu are not alone, in that I have too. Thank goodness we awake from them.

Anyhow,

Dreams can make us cry, or smile. They are those things, I believe that we suppress, subconsciously. Perhaps a stressor of another time or place, or with another person brought the dream to your forefront. I am not sure. What I do know is those things can serve, like most anything else, as reminders to us. Perhaps they can make us change a road we are going down, such as in health, or relationships. Maybe the dream can help remind us of things that we have not let go of, and should. They are just that, dreams. I like the good dreams, and the ones where I am remembering another time when life was great.

That is what I had on my mind this evening. So, I shall see you on this side of the rainbow…

MwsR

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