MwsR Writings

Christmas Tears
By MwsR

One day she was going to decorate her house just like you see it done in magazines and movies…but not today. She just couldn’t get into the Christmas spirit. Today she found herself thinking of Christmas ‘s past. She felt the feelings she had felt before, today she remembered it all.
It’s easy to get swept up in holiday traditions but what if your holiday traditions were erased? Hers had been, she had to understand though that all was not lost. She needed to know that holidays were and could be so much more than tradition.
This year, this time, she needed to find the meaning behind,the traditions and gatherings.
See for her there was so much that life had changed for her, that she needed to gather what she could. She needed meaning not traditions to keep her going.
When she was a child everything was so exciting, she missed that feeling. Now that she grew older she longed for a trueness, a realism she didn’t get from all the holiday hustle and bustle, or from all the worrying over bills versus buying presents . Her world should be more. More than that she wanted everyone around her to be grateful.
Why should she struggle? Why couldn’t it look at easy as tv or movies, in that they all had smiles, presents , and cheer?
She really thought hard and tried to find something that she could internally use, use to feel better.
Alongside remembering past holidays, she remembered those who were no longer in her present, and she cried. She just sat there and felt the loss like it was happening there in that moment. She thought about the true meaning of Christmas and the sacrifice that people gave many years ago , where two parents that had a newborn that was despised by man, yet loved and awaited by millions. The sacrifice they made to make sure he was safe and cared for. They left their family, their homes and their own comforts.
Sometimes, she thought, one must give more than they ever will receive in return. Sometimes no matter where we have been we can still find a place to belong. It all is in our hearts and minds, she thought.
Her Christmas tears turned on her mind, but she found the strength to keep trying, to keep looking for the answers, but with a newness of heart.
Christmas tears , the ones shed so long ago in a manger, now in her own eyes…that made life seem more clearer around this time of year.
The lesson is life can bring you down but if you look,more than you think can be found.

All rights reserved.@MwsR2021


Stops For A While, by MwsR

When a heart weeps it seems it stops for a minute or two
Sometimes it feels forever when it is about you
I often wonder why or how
But that’s not answered now.
You can only give until time or fate has changed
Sometimes it never comes, often things get rearranged.
Sad is my heart, weeping inside
Sometimes it stops for a minute or two
Often it’s when I think of you.

All rights reserved. MwsR 2016-2021

MwsR Writings/Thoughts

We all face different things in our lives.
Seldom do we stop and realize what others go through.
I have known friends that hurt each day, carry guilt, and are hurt. I know people who despite circumstances that were given to them, carry on every day.

It is never the journey ahead that hurts us… It is, however, our lack to properly prepare as we start that journey.

Don’t forget others go through it, deal with it, and push past it… you can too.

Yes, it will hurt sometimes. Yes, it will change you some. Yes, it will most definitely impact those who are in it with you, in one way, shape, or form. This can most certainly be directly or indirectly.

But the good news is…
You can move through whatever journey is ahead… You can.

There is hope for today.💓

MwsR Writings

Sometimes our greatest challenge is ourselves…

In The Way, by MwsR

I wonder if there is a way that I could make a great day?
Sometimes there is absolutely nothing in the way.

You can set your mind and spirit to accomplish.
Although, some prefer a prayer and a wish.

When a tree is right before you, you do not go through the tree,
Instead, you go around it to continue, you see.

Obstacles don’t have to keep us from doing things we choose
They are just stumbling blocks, please don’t get confused.

Nothing nor should anyone keep you from doing what you need to or decide to do.
You have the power yourself, through and through.

If something is in your way,
Get around it, so you can make a good day.

No one can take that power from you
No one has that kind of power, not no how, not no way.

All rights reserved 2021MwsR


I Think, by MwsR

I think there is real love out there in this old world.
That there is meaning in the way people talk.
Also a meaning behind the way they walk.

I think that beauty resides within a person’s soul.
That it is a sin to only look on the outside and not the in,
there is so much more about a person, within.

I think that God gave us each other to teach us something.
Something new or that perhaps we had forgotten.
Sometimes he wants us to see the good and the rotten.

I think that for every action there is a reaction.
As a cause and release, be it a punishment or possibly a disease.
There is also a goodness we achieve after a lesson that we receive.

I think no one is better than anyone else.
If they were then we’d have no hope of becoming all we could be.
You can take a look at people in our history and you will see.

I think that the smallest insect is precious and has a purpose.
Even the biggest, like a hippopotamus to.
That is what God had created for me and you.

I think with time hurts and pains will diminish in intensity,
But won’t ever leave our damaged heart.
I think sometimes trying to forget is wrong, even hurts and pains play a part.

I think if you want something, stepping over someone to get it is wrong.
You see we get back what we give, so it could hurt you in the end.
I’m just reminding you of this because I am your friend.

I think, therefore I write.
I write because it is an expressive tool
I use what I have just to connect with you.

MwsR Writings

THE Girl Who Felt Too Much…

By MwsR

Her day was never ordinary, instead, it was anything but. Her mind could carry her places no-one else knew that it could.

Her pain was like a birthright, literally and figuratively, despite how much her life constantly changed.

Was it just because of her, that things seemed to go wrong? Or could her lot in life be playing out little by little in every thought, word, and action?

She’d once dreamt of a beautiful life, with kids, happiness, and even seeing herself as a cherished and irreplaceable person but not anymore.

As a child, she enjoyed simple things. She could play in the woods forever, until dark. Never caring about what could be around a bush or what dangers there was awaiting. She just let her imagination take her to wondrous places, where she explored as a child.

I wouldn’t say she was a “tomboy”, but she could climb trees like a monkey. She would walk the creek behind her house almost every day, searching and exploring. The creatures she imagined were so nice and pleasant, in her mind. She didn’t know that the real world would prove to be way different. It is good she didn’t because she would have never left her room.

See in her teenage world there was glimpses of that real scary world, glimpses of things not so pleasant. Those would serve as a warning and she’d have to find her real-life courage instead of her childhood one.

Teenage years were more than she wanted at times, more than she could handle. While her friends had normal worries, stresses, or problems, she had much more complicated ones. The feelings she learned as a child, the innocent ones soon became clouded with different fears.

Her family was unusual if compared to a normal sense. Their secrets surrounded the family home. It was almost like seeing through a dirty window, things were distorted, you could say.

The family liked things that way though. At least No one would be able to see, see the people they really could be.

The girl who felt too much often tried to feel nothing. If she could manage that she’d of been perfect. Regardless of what she felt and needed she never quite could make herself disappear.

So being that she always felt a lot, dreamt a lot she never could create the places she dreamt of. She was stuck in a place she could not escape, at least not yet.

Adulthood was different in that she chooses to walk out of the chaos that had become her family home. There in her adult world, she found some strength, some peace, and some hope. Although the impact of her family home life, changed her, she allowed herself to stay in it. This was different than her teenage years because now she chooses to feel too much about what she wanted to. Whereas in her teenage years her feelings were null and void when it came down to it.

Here in the adult world that she is in she found, her smile again found new meanings and carried on through every day.

The impact of all the bad and confusion she had made her world around did change her. It hurt her, it followed her, and even though she tries not to she always feels too much.

Today ~thoughts

Today, I felt pain. I felt it surround my heart and once again, I tried to stop it. Why is it that the things we love the most, put such hurt within our souls. I went and poured out my heart, and was shut down by someone’s own perceptions. It was hard to bare my feelings but I had no choice, I had to. The stress between us both has encompassed my life. It has left me feeling inadequate, bruised, and useless. Still, I tried. I laid it out and asked my poignant questions. I felt it needed to be heard. Of course, they did not agree. Like a clam, they shut their heart and closed their ears. They could not see past the past. Are they ever going to?

A part of me wanted to run…run somewhere, run fast, and run hard. But where? I have no answers, perhaps it is a fight or flight response. I wasn’t looking to fight, but it ended up that way, in some regard. Nothing, not even my tears, could calm that stubborn heart I was trying to get through to. I gave in to the pressure of trying to defend myself, against God knows what, for whatever reason, and nothing was accomplished. If anything, it made the other person meaner. As if I had asked them for a “lung”, they thought I was crazy. They refused to talk, heal, or forgive. For which I am not sure what there was to forgive. All I know is that they were determined not to discuss, deal with, or listen anymore, today.

How in the heck did my love for someone get so complicated? How is that they, the one who I built a better part of my world around, has come to be so bitter and so angry. Why? And instead of getting “points” for the good and goodwill done towards them all these years, a disagreement, conflict if you will, keeps a huge wedge filled with distrust and disdain against me. I feel like a failure. I feel like I did not express myself well enough. I feel hurt. I feel broken.

Image result for Hurt Heart

I am sure we all have situations like this. I am sure there are circumstances we cannot control. I am sure of that. What kills me though is the fact that nothing else matters to this person, and they cannot see the uncountable good and love they have been given. Why? Perhaps I should remember the mean people in my life, just so I feel better about myself. Nah, I don’t want to waste my thoughts on those kind of people. I want to do as I always have, forgive and love. I don’t want any other characteristic to be seen but those two. I want to love and love some more. Despite the pain, heartache, and turmoil. I want it to be known that I will never give up on the things that matter in my life. I certainly will never be perfect, but I will do my darndest in trying.

Far from perfect, hurting to the depths of my soul, I will try. I may want to run, may want to fight, but let me never stop caring, feeling, and loving. I want to always keep hope. Don’t you?