We all face different things in our lives. Seldom do we stop and realize what others go through. I have known friends that hurt each day, carry guilt, and are hurt. I know people who despite circumstances that were given to them, carry on every day.
It is never the journey ahead that hurts us… It is, however, our lack to properly prepare as we start that journey. MwsR
Don’t forget others go through it, deal with it, and push past it… you can too.
Yes, it will hurt sometimes. Yes, it will change you some. Yes, it will most definitely impact those who are in it with you, in one way, shape, or form. This can most certainly be directly or indirectly.
But the good news is… You can move through whatever journey is ahead… You can.
As I sit at my desk, the one my lovely husband made for me, my thoughts go back in time and reflect on my life and its many journeys. Sometimes people miss out on their futures by living in the past. This is not what I am doing today, today I am remembering, reflecting if you will. How many times do you find yourself looking at something or hearing something that stirs in your mind, a memory or two? Well, as I sit here, surrounded by my faithful and loving cat, Poppy, and with a view of my birdfeeders that are outside, I am where I was before. I am talking about memories, about things that either directly or indirectly took some sort of residence in my thoughts. I have my cup of coffee sitting here, my cellphone, my books, my computers, and my personal touches with me. Still, something is drawing me into a stream. A stream of reflections and remembrances that fill my heart, fill my moments.
I should be writing more on my webpage, but as it goes, I am thinking of my loved ones, and of the God who loves me unconditionally. I have never in my life deserved the wondrous and powerful all-consuming love of God. He graciously gives it to me. Nothing I can ever do would warrant that type of commitment, dedication, and love. Nothing! He is a pivotal instrument in my own personal life. I am not the most faithful, nor the most religious, or dedicated, but somehow none of that ever changes his ways towards me. He constantly forgives me, when I ask. He constantly works behind the scenes in my life. Is that not wonderful?
My family is always in my thoughts, always. No matter what I do or where I go they are there with me, in my thoughts. I have loved, have lost, and have been shunned by some. I have repeatedly forgiven, loved, helped, and encouraged some. I have corrected, instructed, and explained a lot of times. I have three adult kids and four grandkids all under the age of 7. I believe if I was a good mother, grandmother, they would always be in my thoughts, don’t you?
Today as I sit here, reflecting on things, I realize there are people out in our world without hope. People who would rather not reflect on their loved ones, and sometimes on their lives. Not everyone we meet has a great life. Not everyone we meet has a story they refer to for their enjoyment. Some people find it hard to wake up in the morning. Some find no peace at home. A lot of people are just going through the motions of life. It is a lonely or cruel place for many.
There was a point in my life once upon a time, when I was always sad, always hurting, and always searching. I was not given a golden goose, a family home, or riches. I had to make and scrape for everything I had. I was like many out in this world who were hopeless and forgotten. I too have a story I do not wish to repeat. However, this story or two, has made me who I am today. To say I wished that my life had been different, well, that would almost be like regretting who I have become. Right?
No matter what we choose in our life, or where we are going, we have choices. Struggles and trials and hardships are part of our life on earth. I want to encourage you to find something that makes you smile. Something that can make you feel good inside and out, would be great to find for yourself. No one can do that for you. Only God. If you have never known such a relationship with him it is something worth trying. I am not preaching, nor am I qualified to. I just want to say, he has been my rock, my shield, my stay! He can be yours too!
If that is not where you are wanting to go, then immerse yourself in doing good for others, regardless. Find the good in all things, all people. Yes, I believe it is good in all. Sometimes bad rules but good is there, maybe just hiding, or suppressed by worry or pain.
Here’s a thought: Why don’t some of you people who emptied the grocery stores of toilet paper, Lysol, and hand sanitizer, since you now have more of this stuff than you will ever use in a year. Why don’t you spread some human decency and make a care package for the 90 year old man who lives next door on a fixed income? Bag him up some of this stuff, put it on his porch. When he inevitably catches you doing it and asks you why, look him straight in the eye, and simply say, I just want to know you’re going to be okay. You think you’re afraid? How do you think the elderly feel? I would love nothing more than to see this start coming across my newsfeed.
John 13:13-17 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.
A sense of sadness is in my soul. I do not know where to begin. I did not see myself this sad over the possibility of losing someone who caused me so much emotional damage. I had briefly entertained the thought, long ago, of this person meeting his maker. I had thought that should he have the chance he might come to me one day and ask for my forgiveness. I guess I was wrong to think that would happen. Sometimes, in life, things will stay the same, or they won’t change. As I age I see so much of what is wrong in this life. I see hurt feelings that never mend. I hear stories of people at their end, taking all their animosity or hate with them to their graves. I also see those who longed for better but never took the step to get there. Sadly I know of too much heartache and tears shed in the name of “ pride”.
This man who was supposed to protect me, love me, and help me, ruined my teenage years and my self-worth. He imposed his selfish ways upon me. He created a girl destined to fail at being confident and self assured. He led my head down a path I never thought it would go. Trailing behind it was my heart. It would spin out of control and dangle around my neck like a noose. I would almost have to die to be made whole again. Well, whole enough to see hope and love and joy.
So much of who I am came from this man. Not my courage, not my strength, actually nothing positive, that was all my own doing. From him every fear, every doubt, every self disturbing thought came. It came so hard that I thought it would finish me off. So why did I even allow myself the trouble of a one day reappearance that would give me closure and he would ask to be forgiven for it all? I don’t know. Perhaps hearing that he is in hospice was a nudge towards those thoughts. Perhaps I still believe in forgiveness and reconciliation of some things. Of course, I do!
Never have a read-up on how to deal with such an issue. I believe it is safe to say there are no outlines of how to correctly respond to such news. Hospice means that he is dying. It means he should make amends and make his last will. It means those around him should help him get his affairs in order. Yet, I feel no one can help his soul but God. No one can help him be forgiven. It is his own decision to do so. Maybe he is too sick to be coherent. Or maybe he can’t speak. There are a thousand scenarios of what his case might be. I guess I may never know.
Now I’m faced with letting it go, again. I need to let God handle it because frankly, I have so many emotions about it all. I would surely mess up things if I were on my own. I covet prayers for peace and understandings concerning this. If you would pray for his soul that would be much appreciated. I feel that God needs me to ask this. I feel that this is so much more than mine and his history. This is or was my father by adoption. He was put in my life. I may not know the reason why but I know he was.
My heart is torn, it is so sad. I wish for better days. I long for peace and if possible confirmation of his life had it been changed. Thank you all for reading.
Some people want to be near to their family, but can’t. People who wish more than anything things were different, those same people desire to belong. Don’t forget your blessings, pray for those who are struggling today and every day, just to be asked to be in someone’s life. Count your blessings Remember life isn’t guaranteed. Get over past judgments and hurts or feelings that keep you from receiving blessings.
When Thanksgiving Changed by MwsR
The day has always been celebrated without your presence The talk never has included you But when it’s mentioned, it’s of course blamed on you.
No verbal request for you to attend No reaching out to you to try and heal or mend It’s okay to point fingers at you Even though it’s okay to assume.
If you were meant to be there There’d be no doubt left in the air You’d feel that, right? No need to fuss or fight
Instead, Thanksgiving changed When no one spoke your name When life without you was expected Needless to say, the lack of effort, feeling rejected.
When Thanksgiving changed you weren’t there Even though you wanted to be, you wanted them to care You wanted to be included more than in a passing thought It was belonging that you sought.
Go ahead and pass the blame Don’t let it change anything But when this old life nears its end Maybe then…
My Thanksgiving wish has nothing to do with all the yummy food. Except that those who are hungry, that they will have some. My Thanksgiving wish has to do with all that we have around us, either in our hearts or in our presence. Thanksgiving is a wonderful time t o make memories with our loved ones and friends. It can also be terrible for those that are financially hurting or those families that bicker and fight. It can be hard trying to move on and look past mistakes and grievances but we all should try. No family is perfect, no matter how many lovely pictures and things they try to display or post about. No one family has it all together. There will be times that you dislike each other or maybe that you just don’t connect on the same basis. That is okay. I know with my family we have had our moments. The hardest thing to remember is, we are only humans. God did not make us divine or spotless, or even flawless. He made us each with our quirks. He inspired us though to be better than we can and to keep reaching to help others and understand others and love each other. Some people are missing from around our tables this year. Some may never have the chance to sit at our tables. Whatever it is know that you too are not alone. As for my house, we miss those we can not see again, or talk to during this season especially. I miss that I will never get to spend a Thanksgiving with my birth mom, except once. I miss my father-in-law and the company he frequented us with. There is my half-sister who is in jail, again, that won’t have a good Thanksgiving. I miss times in my life when I felt connected to each one I love. My Thanksgiving wish is that all of us look around and truly, TRULY, be happy for all we have. That maybe we can in turn help someone else who might need help and comforting. We all know someone! Holidays can be brutal, they can also be a time to reflect and be THANKFUL. I choose to be THANKFUL and pray for those who need courage or resources or whatever it may be to make it through another Holiday Season. If you have managed to sit through this post I am thankful for that too. Wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving!
Feels embarrassed by the house they live in. Who wants to have friends over to visit but …they have to make reasons why they can’t have you over.
Wishes that they could afford to go on vacation with their group of friends but they don’t have the money so they have to come up with excuses.
Feels inferior to others because they always brag about what they have bought and about the next vacation they are going on. You’re feeling lower than better around them, so you avoid going anywhere with them.
So many people have so much going on in their lives. It is rarely black and white in terms of this. A lot of times there is a person who wants to go and do, who wants to have friends over but they simply feel embarrassed, stressed, broke, or left out because of circumstances they can’t manage. I bet we all have a person in our life that we know, going through “things” like this. Our failure as being a true friends is in letting distance and pride get in our way. We should never make another person feel inferior or that they bring nothing to the plate. They might not get to go on vacations or fix their house up or buy new things. That should not mean that directly or indirectly our actions or words should cause them to feel this way. Everybody wants to belong, feel loved, and that they are just as good as others. I encourage you if you have a friend that feels bad about themselves or something in their lives because they feel they’ll never measure up to you, please think about their reasons as to why they opt-out or hide, or make excuses . Not always but sometimes they have insecurities, perhaps feeling down, or are limited in what they want to do versus being able to. By me, MwsR
Mws R Writings 