She was someone I never got to know
Holding onto some idea of how it was to go.
I studied each picture, all the time
Trying to find resemblance of her in this face of mine.
My siblings say I look like her so
My heart held onto that and tried to never say “no”
For if I was like her even in looks
She would of stuck it out, and I’d never be forsook.
I think about her often, it has been five years now
Since I said my final goodbye and my world was turned around.
Mother she was but not in the sense of a relationship or in name
She never earned that with me, it’s a shame.
I was adopted out to my aunt and uncle
It was a different kind of struggle.
They cherished me not, loved me little
I was tormented and caught in the middle.
Mother was not the way I knew my life giver
Even though her blood runs through my veins
She was a life giver, for that I am grateful
But it changes very little.
When I think of her, as I often do
I wish she had been a mother too.
Some people come into our life for a specific purpose
They might not realize it at first
I think she knew that my life began with her
But that it would continue without her.
She may had of had feelings like a mother would for me,
Yet I could not see.
So life can grab us and weigh us down
It gives us struggles that can cause lots of frowns
It’s all is in how you measure what your portions are
That when you can start to repair your heart.
As I am learning to do,
Taking the little I had and working it through.
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