Category: Writings

This day started as most ordinary days did. It was Saturday and Blue was home and outside. She loved the outdoors and it was perfectly sunny and warm. She had been busy gathering rocks that were all white in color. They had a graveled driveway and she loved finding the rocks that were white in color. She pretended that they were special and rare and worth a lot of money. Something though was different today. Today Blue was thinking about things. She was thinking about having to grow up. Here was some of what was on her mind.

As Blue reached her teenage years, she felt awkward in her own skin. She very much wanted to stay young at heart and do the young girl thing. She had noticed though that her friends were changing. They all were putting down their dolls and toys and acting different. She did not want to give up her dolls or her toys. She did not want to grown up too fast. She enjoyed the freedom of expression and fun that came with being young. No one expected her to now grown up things and she did not have even the slightest interest in grown up things. Why did things have to change? Why couldn’t she stay young for a long time?

Among things that started to change was her appearance. Her body was changing and it was changing without her permission. She saw things about herself that she did not fully comprehend. She saw her size changing. She noticed that her clothes were fitting differently. When she looked in the mirror she saw that she had hips and thighs. She had never even noticed such things before. She was also getting a grown woman’s chest. She did not like wearing bras. They were uncomfortable. She had been wearing them for sometime now. The kind that makes a young girl look smother in her blouses. The ones that people called training bras. Her mother told her to stay modest. So her mother had bought her a pack of three training bras to wear. Blue was really not into this whole growing up thing. She wanted to stay little.

About middle school age Blue was doing school P.E., she was playing sports and was required to change in the locker rooms. She hated this. There was a simple shower curtain in each shower. They were required to go into the shower unit, with others, and change into their P.E. clothes. Later after P.E. was over, they had to do the same thing again. This was very embarrassing for some of the girls an Blue felt that too. She often found herself in the shower unit changing and someone would go in or out of it and leave her exposed while changing. Sometimes there was some other girl looking for a peep of what was going on. Not because they were really interested but because it happens. Talk about being vulnerable. Here you are, a maturing teenager with multiple others surrounding you while you change and dress, This sure would be awkward and embarrassing for some. It was for Blue.

Blue tried to be modest always and changing in front of her peers was not something she enjoyed. Like she knew already she was turning into a young lady and she was feeling that embarrassment any way. Not to mention the confusion of having to dress in front of others. What if they laughed at her? What if they made fun of her, or talked about her? Many things to consider. Being a young lady was proving difficult. Blue was being reminded each day of how she was changing. Her days of being young were numbered.