Baffled by MwsR

“This too shall pass”, I think not

Maybe it is because there is this huge knot

It goes wherever I do

You played me for a fool

I wish that last day

Before it all went away

You’d of told me you were sorry

That you weren’t in a hurry

To get rid of me in your life

Felt like you sliced my soul with a knife

You cared not,

Your temper was too hot

Maybe you did not fully think

It all did happen on my end, in a blink

Words were tossed out from your heart

You did not act too smart

I was pregnant

You acted ignorant

Wanting to hit me

You aren’t a special entity

You were merely a bully

Trying to impose your own ways

Forgetting that I didn’t have to stay

I also had my own say

Look at how domineering you tried to be

All you did was totally disgust me

Suppose to be my family

You wanted to be free

Look how that worked not in your favor

You were disguarded, like a bag of trash

And you started that fire, and became the ash

I however, went on to belong

I went ahead, because I wasn’t in the wrong

Poor pitiful you

Hope you enjoy all the damage you spew

Baffled at what you hoped to gain

Look back at your lies, that caused nothing but pain!

When Your Heart is Torn, MwsR

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Here we are. Separate places but together in life.

We are not making memories, instead we find ourselves wishing.

Your life is coming to an end,

I cannot stand knowing it is.

I just want to make your life, your whole life better than it was, is.

I want to take away all your hurts.

Crazy how we came from the same mother,

Yet we do not really know one another.

We both have had things tied to our necks all of our life,

Some intentionally placed and other things our hurt hearts invent

We drifted in life, yet life is drawing us back together.

I hear your heart, almost like I knew you well.

I know you are scared

I am too.

Waiting on this life to end is so scary.

Either in your own experience or in knowing someone you know, facing it.

It seems what grips at your heart, also helps to keep it going.

What takes a loved one from you, brings you almost closer than in life.

I know that tomorrow is not promised , not even for me.

I fret to think yours is ending , why does that have to be.

In a few years of our life, we met once, talked some, yet

Oh sis, I am so broken as to how to help you, when I am lost.

I do not know what I will do, knowing that things change so harshly.

I feel stuck in this void of us.

I will try to love you in the end of days the best I can.



Blue…Story Goes On/Sisters


Today was not unlike all the many days before for Blue. She awoke with not much on her mind, in way of things to do, but to get herself ready for school. Same as always, she was wishing she had time to stay in bed just a little more. Her covers on her bed were always so cozy and warm, from her body heat where she had lain.  Blue was always so cold in the wintertime. Her parents kept the door to her room shut and the heat turned off. The sole source of heat they used was a fireplace, that was stationed in the living room. The reason for this was to save money on their power bill. Blue was certain though that they intentionally left her to freeze.

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Like all kids, Blue figured there was some meaning to the fact that she had no heat in her room. Often time she figured it was a sort of punishment for something she had most certainly done. It seemed like she was always doing something that her parents did not approve of. Often, Blue wished she was perfect, but she knew that was not even remotely possible. She was simply not cut out to be perfect. Even as a kid she knew she would disappoint and bewilder much of the time, her parents.

Blue often pondered how her life would be if she had been her sister.

Her sister was way older than her and they did not resemble or think the same way. There was very little in common between her and her sister, but that really did not matter to Blue. To Blue, her sister was darn near perfect and favored by their parents. She just knew she wanted to grow into someone just like her sister. Although, she did not know how. If she was her sister, she just knew her parents would be proud of her, that they would love her through any mistake and that they would tell all their friends about her. Like they always did of her sister.

Often Blue would catch herself trying to watch her sister’s every move. She really could not understand what it was that her parents saw so special in her sister. Her sister appeared to be normal. Often her sister would walk out from her room and Blue would sneak a visit or look into her sister’s room. Blue was really just curious but also felt that maybe there was some magical power in there directing her parent’s affection towards her sister. There was no way her sister could be more important than her, surely there must some magical reason for this type of  affection her sister received.

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Often her sister would find her inside of her room and yell at her, running her out and quickly shutting the door behind Blue as she fled for her life. There just had to be dark secrets inside of her sister’s room, Blue just knew it. Contrary to her sister’s opinion of her, Blue wanted desperately to be close to her sister. Blue  really did not know a whole lot about her sister. It was as if the years that separated them in age, separated them in love. Blue just wanted to be close to her sister, but she did not know how.

At an early age it was, Blue figured out how unfair life could be.

She was often time  bewildered but not free from the bias her household had. She knew that she could try so very hard to seek her parents approval but in reality she would never get it, not like her sister did. Often she found herself feeling jealous and having self-pity. Of course, she also loved all her family and like all kids, she would continue to seek their love and approval.

Perhaps Blue was destined to be a failure, she often times thought. Maybe if she quit trying so hard to be adored, she would feel better.

Try telling a kid that…

To be continued…

MwsR ❤