Category: Poems

Just Me, poem

woman looking at sea while sitting on beach
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No matter how much I don’t want it to be

I am the person , inside somewhere, that my mother molded me as.

I cannot escape the inferior overtones I feel

I will not let myself ever cone first

When I go out in public, I will feel on display

As if I am so important that someone is watching my every move.

I will smile, all the while my heart feels sad.

Crying only to ease my insecurities that of which I need to know I am human.

When preparing my house for visitors, I am my own worst critic

I will never feel quite enough, or adequate

I will hear things like, ” you are beautiful”, yet never will I agree.

I love you will be in need to prove to others, I care.

Satisfaction will never be, for me, cause I will never be worth obtaining it.

Succumbed I will give up, give in, give it all

Without so much a word like thanks

I am the mold she set out to make, not on purpose necessarily but because

I am not, nor ever will be, just me.

MwsR ❤

Poem

pexels-photo-1663417

Christmas Eve

In every corner of our world

Subtle surprises are to be found

Like love that is genuine

And a forgiving heart

One night of the year

Those things become  un-magnified

They tug and pull at the heart, of those,with hearts

The silence of months past

Holding onto grudges, don’t seem to last

There is a sense of meaning in all that we do

Whether it is in gift giving

Or to  just remain “whole”

We struggle 364 days a year

But on this one night,

Everything seems more clear

We give without actually taking

Breathe without thinking

And actually seem to be better

When we snuggle in bed

Knowing we are somehow changing things.

Making new amends

Reconnecting with family or friends

Hoping a New Year will be better than the last

Taking actual time to see one another.

Tomorrow Christmas Day

Tomorrow all problems will fade just a little more

Christmas magic it is

When you believe in the spirit of the holiday.

MwsR ❤

 

 

Poem

SPILT

Image result for spilt

Long ago, I knew my life was not completely my own

Faultless I was not 

But that was okay

We are made to play in the games of life,

Despite our will fighting against that

If I were faultless it would be a mistake 

So I end up playing with my faculties in tact

Sometimes I stumble and take a quick look back

But that is not the most consuming of my life

It is when I want something that I am not to own

Like say, those that I loved in my lifetime

Those who I am now without

The ones who made me what and who I am

Those who would rather be a ghost in my life now

So see my life is stuck, kind of in a bind

Hinged upon those people in my mind

Life will not be my own until I release 

The overbearing, lingering memories, and the real

Thoughts, that in this poem I spilt.

MwsR ❤

Poem

Wisdom, Quotes and Things

 

“To be or not to be”, 

That will never be said of me

I am who I am and I do not need to announce it.

“Crawl back into your hole”, you say

I say, In a hole might just be better,

You never know.

“Let by gones be by gones”,

How can that work

Our minds don’t forget.

“To each his own”, 

That is all wrong.

Everything affects everyone, regardless.

“Hide it under a bushel”,

No! I think not

There are creepy things in there.

“Live and let live”

Well that is always the case

You cannot stop anyone from going on with their lives.

“Follow the golden rules“

But how do you know those aren’t for fools?

Who made those anyway?

“Count your blessings”, 

That is truly impossible.

What would be the use.

Sayings, quotes and things

Were created from ordinary people,

Wanting ordinary common things

Expecting to be heard, or noticed.

Some give wisdom, some give nothing

That is the nature of free speech.

“Take it to heart”…if you wish

No, it will not make you smart,

But it might change things up a bit.

I am writing this for no particular reason

Just thought ’tis the season…

or is it?

MwsR ❤

Fool

 

 

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Like shadows  forming before my eyes

Sometimes what I remember is a really big surprise

I often lay awake first thing  in the morning, just thinking on it all.

I remember little tidbits of things, before we had our falling out.

I remember how it was in my head at least.

My heart still tricks itself into believing,

That things can be back where they once were.

Ah and alas the bruised heart will keep trying!

I wish it would just give itself a break

Or better yet wise up.

It keeps me prisoner in a way,

In other ways it has also set me free.

Hard to express these feelings deep inside of me.

Hard to tell yourself after 21 years ,

That there is no rhyme or reasoning of your longtime tears.

The fakers in your life

The liars still as they are, still can hurt you

Why?

Why is it the things we let ourselves believe and cling to,

Will ultimately tear us apart.

If we let them.

We do not have to let them!

Simple as looking forward can be, we can forgive them

Forgive ourselves for being the fools.

Forgive the childish feelings of bliss and hope,

Let it all fall to the wayside when we are done.

Let those feelings have a place somewhere,

Somewhere else beside taking residence in our heart and mind.

And then there is always time!

Time will help to lessen all those blows, all those knows, we have.

The secret is time, I must confess.

But I am still a fool at heart, believing still,

I need to be saved from myself, I think.

Or face my feelings head on.

Go back to those unsaid things of long ago.

Make an effort one more time

No I am not blind!

I am just a believer, a hope ridden fool.

I am me and that is exactly what I know.

MwsR ❤

 

Echoes, by MwsR

Echos of a past long remembered

I sank in despair

Of things and people no longer there

My hurt was and is sometimes so hard to bear.

Echoing in my thoughts

Edging of things no longer being sought

But still apparently missed

Things so strong, like the warning of a snake’s hiss

Like a bedtime kiss

Echoes that no one but I can hear

Of those times that seemed to disappear

Those who are no longer near

The nights I lost so many tears

Echoes I will never be free of

Echoes that make you tough.

Left, by MwsR

Adopted kids can feel a lot of pain, for a whole number of reasons.

This poem reflects the pain from a mother who choose to adopt out her own flesh and blood. Also this poems speaks from the one who was given away.

Having something that is so much a part of you as you are back.

To whisper things you need to believe, so you can go on to perform an unbearable act.

In desperation, you alone feel such great pain,

Giving away someone, and knowing it will increase your shame.

Tearing away at the edges that once sealed up your heart,

Just so you could actually live with a pretend of a different start,

Tucking in your feelings so no-one cam see,

What it did to you, what you gave up just to be anything but true

Knowing life hurts, but knowing that you are solely to blame,

In cognito, you survive, you bargain, you touch the flame,

Knowing you will burn, and they will too, because of your choice of separation,

They, lucky enough that there is adoption,

But forever they are un whole,

Looking forever for remnants of what is at the bottom of their hearts’ hole.

Forever,and such a shame it will most certainly be

That day, all things changed, when you gave away me.

 

Poem/Diabetes

person holding black tube
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Diabetes

By MwsR
A prick…a pain

A reminder in a pill bottle that has my name.

Injecting while my body fights

Makes for some restless nights.
Testing has its own issues

Sometimes pain ensues.

Results can be saddening

And A1C ‘s are often maddening.
Repetitive actions everyday

Keeping those high blood sugars away.

Eating right sure is a task

I think I’d like to eat wearing a mask.
Life for a Diabetic has no glam or lights

Just work and lots of inner fights

For those that share this disease

The difficult one, Diabetes.
Keep fighting and going no matter what!

We all are in the same pot.

We can choose to continue or just to give in.

There’s no absolutes until the end.