Parenting is not easy

Desperately, I look for some re-assurance, some acknowledgement,that everything I have done was handled the right way. I try to stay positive, yet there is so much I question and  then question again. Did I not do all I could to ensure that my family is happy, healthy, and have their needs taken care of?

family of three lying on bed showing feet while covered with yellow blanket
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Some people in the parenting world question all their actions, thoughts, words and feelings at one point or another. I,myself, have been doing this here lately. I have three kids and they have been my whole world for so long now. Now, they are going to be all graduated from high school, in a matter of weeks, and I am finding myself wondering about so much of my life, in regards to them. I am going to watch my youngest graduate in a few weeks. For some reason though I am feeling some kind of way. No, it isn’t going to be the empty nest yet although I hear that will come later on. For some reason I find myself wishing my kids were still in that middle school age. You know, the age when your kids still wanted to hang out with you and do things with their parents.

For me, raising my kids went fairly well. My husband and I were always “hands on” parents. Meaning we went to all the games of sport our kids choose to participate in and we went to all the awards, and concerts they were in at school and otherwise. Our kids have been our sole purpose in all we do and undertake and work for, other than the basic essentials it takes to live. I wish I had of had parents like us.  I would never say we were the absolute best parents a kid could have, yet I would say we were plenty patient and loving and encouraging.

Here lately though, as I count down the last days of my last kid being in school, I am torn between being happy and being sad. I am definitely proud and relieved to say the least, but still. I know there is times when it seemed like this graduation thing was never coming and my husband and I fretted for the final outcome. But alas, we are almost there. As I sat in an awards ceremony last night I was reminded of all the kids that I have known since they were in kindergarten with my own kid and how much they had grown and how they too were graduating. It hit me hard. It was almost sad enough that I almost teared up. I had worked for the school system and at one point or another I had personally got to know all these kids in one way, shape, or form and it was a proud moment, a happy moment, and a sad one.

I figure this all is normal. I also figure that every parent who reaches this point in their kids lives has the same or along the same thoughts. It just is a time to reflect. It is also a time to be proud and also a sobering time. So many emotions, so much on my mind.  Which brings me to my first paragraph again, in that as a parent you want to know that you have given each of your children a  good start in life that is going to be beneficial to them. You will question your motives, actions, thoughts, and interactions. That is normal to think those things. What you should try to focus on though are the positives, not what if’s and all the blessings you and your family has had along life’s journey together. You might not always be together but you can always keep the bond. All you have to do is HANG ON 🙂

Thanks for reading!!!

 

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Shattered(after the abuse)

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When everything is said and done,
When with the loss of love, you start to rhyme.
Some gentle wisps of independence
A special kind of penance,
A choice you can make finally on your own
Despite the fact you left your home.
Wondering is for those who appear lost,
Yet, you find a place, despite the cost.
Breathless your decisions are made
Hoping not to lose it all.
Struggling, foraging, pushing back the opposition
But leaning, when needed, to whatever or whoever it be.
Everyone needs a moment, some time
Even if that somebody is me.
At the end of each separate struggle there will be some peace
Knowing in your heart of hearts, even though you have shattered,
You ultimately, did MATTER.

Quote for Today

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“Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!”

― Anne Frank

Thoughtful Mind

 

Daily Prompt/Broken

At the spur of a moment

In a second or two

You are surrounded and don’t know what to do.

Pain starts to shut down all your capable reasoning

You are compromised without much notice or heckling.

Whirlwinds of effort all thrown to the wind

No one beside you, not even one friend.

Things fall to the wayside

You don’t let yourself swim against the tide.

You are drowning in the “should had’s” and the “what if’s”.

Seems like your spirit has started to drift.

It appears to those that see

That your life is most pleasant as it can be

But on the inside looking out

Your heart is shattered .and scattered about

You wish to get it all together and promising like a token

But alas, you remain BROKEN!


Information about my page

  • I add to my POEMS page ever so often, just more poems that I have to share.
  • I am not good at adding tags yet but I am working on it
  • I have a lot of poems. I have used some in my books for which I try to add a link to, so please check it out.
  • I am constantly trying to make the look and feel of my blog better so I am updating, possibly moving things around, at least till I find the right way that works.
  • I will try to get my blog so that it is easy to navigate, as soon as possible.
  • Thank to the many that take a look at my  blog, special thanks to those that like and comment on my posts. I appreciate that more than you know.

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Abstract

Abstract Art

My daughter is very talented. She is quite good with her hands. Drawing has always been her best talent. So, here recently I have been after her to draw me an abstract heart themed picture. Hearts have always been my favorite shape. They carry sentimental meanings and significance to me. I have always used them in my special signature and my art.

The reason I asked her to make this abstract heart picture was in the hopes of using it in my 4th poetry book. My titles are themed along with heart in their titles.  It could easy look like a series when you look at their names .

She drew me one this evening , which was waiting on me when I arrived home. I noticed the different textures she created  and the different writings behind the pictures . She used tears in the paper that she used to layer with to create a nice texture. I am not sure what the category one would use to place her drawing in but it is a small characteristic of her. She is definitely a unique person and this simplifies that in a talented way .

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Picture credit  – RR

Oh how I wish I could draw like her, yet sadly, I can’t . My talent is in expressive writing, poetry, as it is called. I love it and thought I would blog about it. I will definitely use it in my next book.

Please like, share, follow or comment.

Thanks for reading! 😊

Things that make you go…

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Today is Memorial Day. It is a time when people all over the USA share their sentiments, respects, reverence for those that have been in our armed forces, stood on battle fields, and have given their own lives to insure our constitutional rights and so forth.

I for one, have had family members that have served in the armed forces so I am a respecter of those select individuals. I believe it takes a strong person to lay down his own life for someone they have never even met. I also believe that not every one is cut out to be one of those people.  My Uncle served for our country and he was even stationed over in Germany for a while. Our family never truly knew what it was that he did until his death. He designed bombs and was held to a secrecy of utmost importance. He was always someone I admired but not because of that, for I knew none of that when I was growing up, but rather for his personable self. I always laughed at his jokes and his big smile was captivating.  He was special to me then and since finding out about his sacrifices he personally made to protect our country, well, that makes him even more special.

You see it all the time on our televisions, references to the people who defend our liberties and rights. You hear sometimes of their tragedies as well as their bravery.  The news sometimes tells of the heroic actions of some while paying respects to those whose lives were ended in battle or  certain tragedies. We hear of things from World War 1, and World War 2, and the bravery that followed all those bravery is something that we definitely can relate to the individuals that have served, are serving, and will be. There can be no doubt that those individuals are special.

In honor of todays holiday, I hope that you as well as I, remember the sacrifices these types of individuals give. It is also not only them but their families and all that love them. It is hard to pick up at the spur of any given time and just move, not to mention having the tremendous burden of worry for your loved one that serves our country. Those types of feelings and sacrifices are what helps to make our nation great. They deserve respect and honor.

https://www.history.com/topics/holidays/memorial-day-history

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Insignificant

Like a storm from out of nowhere
Drifting away like a dream or stare.
More scattered than the grains of sand
But finding common ground to stand.
Troubles thicker than molasses
Smears that collect upon the glasses.
Too much sometimes
Too little I find.
Promises that prick you like roses
People that will leave you in droves.
Lies without guilt
Steamy words from upon their lips.
I’m insignificant
Though I feel transparent.
Walking always, somewhere
But heading nowhere.
Jokes are about me
But I’m not laughing, you see.
Thoughts are for the things that matter
Not for hearts to shatter.
But can’t make it go
Can’t, you know?
Life and love intertangle
Circumstance and perhaps, all dangle.
Forward just one time
Backwards, when it tries to unwind.
Feelings…friends…words…and thoughts
MwsR

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