Tag: loss

Poem

Without you

By MwsR

Seems without you, I forget to breathe.

The sun was not as bright as it was when I am with you.

I know it seems unreal …but it is true.

Without you my day is dull

My senses refuse to do their job

I feel like a door without its knob.

When it’s time to sleep you are on my mind

I don’t feel like I can sleep at all no matter how I try,

Reminds me of a bruise you get from a hard fall,

Because no matter what you do it will take time to go away.

Please come back sooner rather than never

I can’t live like this forever.

Two Instead of One by MwsR

I was adopted and once had two mothers. Once thought I was loved beyond measure. Seems like neither one of them were unselfish enough to love me whole heartedly. I have since started a new life, with a family I love and cherish. I had to go forward in life and stop reaching behind into my past. I am without one mother , she died five years ago. I am without the other one because she chose her life , in denial, and running from things I reminded her of.

Although, I loved them both. I have had to remember that is not a reflection on me. That is not who I can and will be. I do not have to carry all that love and loss with me like a part of my soul. Sadly, it still bothers me. But I will continue in my journey of life, trying desperately to forgive myself for carrying all that guilt, shame, and loneliness. I am better because of my past. I am free to love, laugh, and live.

If you struggle with being rejected, or losing a life of love because of someone, or a loss of a parents love that you so desperately seek, I am sorry. It is not a pleasant thing to have to live down or get over. You have to keep going, keep loving, keep accepting love, because you are WORTH IT. Learn to forgive those people who have hurt you, move on. The best thing I did for myself was to love from a distance. Forgiveness came hard but I gave it, to them. I can say I love them and still be the me, I am.

Peace and Love, MwsR

Two Instead Of One

Two instead of one

One died and the other did run

No exchanges or words

This is so absurd

Two instead of one

Left me in different ways

I am forever a stray

It should not be that way!

Two instead of one

Too much guilt and pride for some

Running in a race, but not for fun

I use to look for them to come

Now two instead of one

Mother’s and I should of won

Their love and attention, some

Don’t you think so, huh?

MwsR

Word of the day Challenge

https://cyranny.com/2018/08/23/renegade-word-of-the-day-challenge/

gun metal barrel
Photo by Somchai Kongkamsri on Pexels.com

Today’s word is Renegade.

He had a tattooed arm from his hand to his shoulder. Strong looking with a partial beard and a mustache that magnified his top lip. Some say he was a loner, some say he was a biker, although some would say he was a RENEGADE.

He never spoke much and never seemed to form a friendship with anyone. He just sat at the corner table at the local bar. He would stare down his glass of beer.

Many wondered what had brought him there and it was about him, that made him walk alone.’Till one evening when a person came in. They walked over to his table and offered him their hand. He looked up at them, then stood with slowness and no smile. People took notice and started to eavesdrop. Who is the person who had broken the stare of this  could be “RENEGADE”?

It was told by one of the waitresses there,that this loner, this biker, this renegade, just had to bury his whole family one day. He had lost all that was dear to him.They had been murdered in their sleep. That was a lawyer coming to him, to tell him they caught the killer.  Now he was all alone with his grief. He did not ask for company to join him there in that bar, because he was afraid that they to would die. He assumed the killer had not been caught, or maybe that the killer was watching him.

He just sat wide-eyed at his beer, while the world passed him by. No loner, no biker, and no renegade was he, just trying not to deal with life, because of the loss he felt inside.