Tag: Death

MwsR writings

I think that this past week has taught me a lot about others, and myself. 

I went to see my dying sister and it was an image I think I will never shake from my mind. Seems like time was not on her side but allowed her to be around to say her farewells to her loved ones, which is way more than what others get. I am glad she had that time. I am glad I had that time to say goodbye to her. She was a rather comical sister. She laughed and loved to make others laugh. I saw glimpses of that when I went to visit her. That brought some comfort to the situation, to know she could still joke and be comical, facing the end of her life.

Sometimes funerals and saying goodbyes to a dear one is more for those saying goodbye than for those that are passing on from this life. It is those who pas away suddenly and most  unexpectantly that are hardest , I think, to bear. We do not get to say our final blessings or what have you to those who pass without warning. It is hard to live with sometimes, and it can cause such pain.

This past weekend was the service for my sister. It was wall to wall with people , some standing for lack of seats and some that stood in the door way area. It was amazing to see how many people came to say their farewells. Everyone had words of love and fond remembrance of my sister. I saw two pictures of her when she was much younger. It was uncanny at resemblances of her and I heard from several people how I looked like her, and it was bittersweet.

I think what I learned most was that people have a hard time with death and while others don’t, there is still the fear of the unknown after we leave here. I saw and heard from people who regretted not having more time and others who wished things had have been different for their relationship with my sister. I learned that we as humans have a hard time letting go. I know that we as humans, cling to things and have a fear of living a life outside of our pain. Sometimes, we try to punish ourselves by staying in a constant mourning, so to speak, and we will not let ourselves truly carry on with our own lives.

Sometimes, life can sink right down into our very soul and in doing so, we cannot ever truly free ourselves of things like remorse, guilt, tragedy, terrible times, hard times, and things that were not pleasant. We have to , you hear me, we have to! We are not meant to carry every single thing that we regret or have done wrong or that has happened in our life on our own shoulders and especially things that connect to our soul. It is impossible to live our lives in a SHADOW of who and what we were meant to be. We must forgive our past judgements, mistakes, regrets, and lack of’s. We are human and we will not always do things the right way, say all there needs to be said , or even treat people the way they should be treated, no matter how hard we try.

What I took away with me from this terrible week was to cherish the good moments the fleeting ones too.

  • Make the most of every person, every opportunity you can.
  • Do not wait for tomorrow may not come. 
  • Forgive those that wronged you 
  • Forgive those who are still wronging you.
  • Love yourself enough to say, “That is okay to walk away from stress and conflict.”
  • Let things go.
  • Love with your true self, regardless of what others think.
  • If God is in your life, cling to him, he will cling to you.
  • Make amends, as best you can.  Sometimes others will not give you a chance to do this, it is not your fault. It is something within their own heart that needs to change. Sadly sometimes that never happens. Try and accept it.
  • Do not stay silent when things are in conflict, use your love and let it guide your mouth.
  • It is okay to be HUMAN.
  • Accept that not everyone in your life will love you for being you and that is okay.

 And in closing this thought…

Please allow yourself some happiness and forgiveness and love.

MwsR <3

 

Thank you for reading 🙂

6 Comments

Categories: Writings

Tags:

Writings,W

20180615_162535 As a writer of the heart and such things, I find that today I am at a loss as to what I should write. I find myself in a void of thought that myself cannot fill. I am just going to start writing and let what comes out spill.

I am the second born in a family with six children. I am one of four girls born to the same mother. I have two brothers born from the same mother, also.

None of us have grew up in the same household except my three younger siblings. Sure, some have been in the same area or home with another, on and off. My mother had six children, four girls and two boys. She has since passed away and in a few short years, I have been able to get to know more of my family and their lives. I searched for many years for the one sister I will refer to as W. She lived an hour and some from me and although we never met aside from our mother’s funeral, we have enjoyed chats here and there on the phone. I just lost my sister W today.

I will not say that any of us are really close, except maybe the three that grew up together. I would like to say that my older sister, the oldest, her and I share the same father and mother. We are just a few years apart in age and we both grew up differently and apart. I love my siblings and it does not matter to me that they and I were not together all our lives. I am the second oldest. In writing that, I feel a sense of obligation to our family, as far as being a support. Although ,I have not mastered that as of this moment, I feel that everything has a purpose and my being the second born definitely gives me one with which I hope to know one day.

It is possible to be from two different worlds and feel a bond, a connection with someone. I am living proof of this. I am an empath and to deny that I care and have strong feelings for others would make me a liar of sorts, to my own identity. It is in my nature to care for others, even those who do not necessarily care about me. I also write this, as not to toot my own horn, but to explain why things bother me on a deeper level than say, most people. Since I can remember, I have struggled to belong somewhere, and know that I was loved. My husband said it best when he said, “You have separation anxieties.” I do, I really do. So perhaps, I cling a little more, hold on a little tighter, and push myself sometimes into others life, that I love and care about. It is a true and most honest thing I just wrote.

I feel like sometimes there is not enough empathy around. People are so selfish by nature and they really don’t mean to be selfish, but come out to others, as just that. People try to preserve their own selves from hurt and pain and they do what comes natural to them and sometimes they end up with a worse than before situation. We all need or want someone’s approval, love, or otherwise. We are not here on this big old planet alone, now are we?

I feel that in writing some about our feelings, or what I am feeling today, I will be more apt to deal with the days following today, when I shall say goodbye for one last time to a sister that was born into my family. A sister that I will miss getting to know better, miss getting to love, and miss getting to help. A sister that by all accounts, is in my heart of hearts, and will be till I myself, die.

I hope she is walking with angels and I hope she is finally the happiest she has ever been. I wish peace for her close and dear loved ones and until the life is over for us all, I hope everyone has a chance to live and be happy.

Until next time, on this here, side of the rainbow, I bid you adieu.

MwsR <3

 

Thank you for reading 🙂

Challenge/Three Things Challenge

Today’s things are: death, humor, stupid

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2018/09/27/three-things-challenge-27-sept-2018/


The humor to me is that noone buries a tree

Trees can die and they experience death

How stupid it is to think!

MwsR <3

Thank you for reading 🙂

1 Comment

Categories: Challenges Accepted

Tags:

Word of the day Challenge

https://cyranny.com/2018/08/23/renegade-word-of-the-day-challenge/

gun metal barrel
Photo by Somchai Kongkamsri on Pexels.com


Today’s word is Renegade.


He had a tattooed arm from his hand to his shoulder. Strong looking with a partial beard and a mustache that magnified his top lip. Some say he was a loner, some say he was a biker, although some would say he was a RENEGADE.

He never spoke much and never seemed to form a friendship with anyone. He just sat at the corner table at the local bar. He would stare down his glass of beer.

Many wondered what had brought him there and it was about him, that made him walk alone.’Till one evening when a person came in. They walked over to his table and offered him their hand. He looked up at them, then stood with slowness and no smile. People took notice and started to eavesdrop. Who is the person who had broken the stare of this  could be “RENEGADE”?

It was told by one of the waitresses there,that this loner, this biker, this renegade, just had to bury his whole family one day. He had lost all that was dear to him.They had been murdered in their sleep. That was a lawyer coming to him, to tell him they caught the killer.  Now he was all alone with his grief. He did not ask for company to join him there in that bar, because he was afraid that they to would die. He assumed the killer had not been caught, or maybe that the killer was watching him.

He just sat wide-eyed at his beer, while the world passed him by. No loner, no biker, and no renegade was he, just trying not to deal with life, because of the loss he felt inside.

Thank you for reading 🙂

x
error

Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)

error: Content is protected !!
Mws R Writings
%d bloggers like this: