Category: Poems

Bothersome, by MwsR

I did not mean to aggravate you

Honestly, I just wanted to know what you knew

Looking for any answers to the questions in my mind

Am I not living here? Are you just blind?

My prerogative it was to know the answers surrounding my adoption

But you had selfish intentions

You wanted to keep me broken,

So somehow you could be the one standing there catching my tears

You wanted me to know only selective things

Not the real story that most adoptive parents bring

You thought my questions were so bothersome

Maybe they were, to you

But to me they encircled my life and something true

I needed to be bothersome because you paid me no mind

Nothing was shared that would ease this burden of mine

I went years without knowing the truth

Years that hurt me so,

Left me to grow up different, you know

When I think back

You were the one holding the strings

The one who thought it was bothersome to answer me

Funny how now that I am older,

Those answers are still left unanswered

And I am still somewhat a mess

My bothering you did not help me a bit

I guess my questions were too much

Bothersome again, I bet.

Poem by MwsR

Mom

I had you in my dreams
It was amazing and real it seemed.
My heart felt you were around
Your scent my nose found.
I sensed your presence
Longed to be near you.
When I awoke it disappeared
While the memory lingered.
For a second I had you
For a lifetime remaining you are gone.
Just once I’d like to make my dreams real
Just for a moment in this life
I’d trade a day of my own to bring back one of yours.
So I could be selfish
Have you close
Let you be real…not just a ghost.
If only.

MwsR💔

Poem podcast~Ember, by MwsR

www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-p6tzz-b1911f

Poem By MwsR

Love, Life, and Caring
By MwsR

There are connections
Although subtle and yet uplifting things
Something that takes the bite out of the sting.
Warming inside the heart, they work
They come without a note or a gift
They’re felt in the heart’s path, when it needs a lift.
Cannot contain it,
For they’re not to be owned or kept
Not to be useless or did you forget?
We each have the opportunity to use these
Each day and till the end.
They are love and life and caring, my friend.

Poem by MwsR

Another Part of Our Minds,,,,By MwsR

I think there is actually a place,
A wonderous place where you can set your mind at ease.
A wondrous place where you can set your mind at ease.
Another dimension of the now we know
It is what we have in our minds.
See the ability to transport to another place with other feelings
Is simply, there.
There among the clutter, the business of life.

It is purely up to you where you choose to go.
Could be for a minute , for an hour or longer.
Depends upon what you want to invest into the travel.
Depends upon what you want to invest in the travel.
You can take with you knowledge of things past, or possibly things you have not experienced yet.

There are many seasons there, it just depends on the factors that there are.
It could be raining or cold, possible windy and sunny all on the same day.
That is how it is with our heads.
This is how it is with our heads.
There is so much to them, even so much we keep in our subconscious.

I think there is for sure a place.
A wondrous place where you can set your mind at ease.
A wondrous place where you can set your mind at ease.
Another part of us we sometimes fail to see.
It is where we have the ability in our minds to feel something different than in our lives.
There, among the clutter, the hectic business of life, you can control it.

Without You, by MwsR

Image result for no mothers love

Without you,

I had to learn to be a mom

Sometimes that meant wallowing in my own self pity

I had to love those who were unlovable

Had to heal things I really knew nothing about

Taking pride in the few accomplishments I had, for myself

Learned how to do balancing acts

Forgiveness and wanting you back

Tried to reach out a few times

That backfired on me, so I stopped

I had to continue dreaming when hope was scarce

It was because your love was too.

Without You

I stopped breathing naturally, and started inhaling deeply

My heart became prisoner to the things my mind knew

My spirit, well it took a nose dive or two

Nights were the hardest, and still are

My mind thinks in coordination with my heart,

The brokenness has never left

Your name still brings me pain

I think sometimes I would be better off insane

Without You

I started again

I picked up the pieces and ran

I held them together on a whisper and a prayer

The moments I was alone, and no one was there

Was the hardest and still can be

If I forget the me, in who I wished, or once believed

I want to be happy, be truly happy

Be comfortable in all my efforts and changes

Without You

I changed myself into the person I had to become

The one whose heart never ever won

Nor smiled for so long

The one with out you .

Image result for Mother's love

You Don’t Know Me by MwsR

Don’t pretend to know me,

To love me

Or feel anything for me

But a mere acquaintance of mine.

You simply could not be real close

Or real

With me

I think this is a crappy way to be

Since you never tried to know the real me

Or experience life with me

Love me

Need Or want me

Just close your ear to the mention of my name

I cannot stand the fakeness, it is insane.

Teasing my brain.

Two Instead of One by MwsR

I was adopted and once had two mothers. Once thought I was loved beyond measure. Seems like neither one of them were unselfish enough to love me whole heartedly. I have since started a new life, with a family I love and cherish. I had to go forward in life and stop reaching behind into my past. I am without one mother , she died five years ago. I am without the other one because she chose her life , in denial, and running from things I reminded her of.

Although, I loved them both. I have had to remember that is not a reflection on me. That is not who I can and will be. I do not have to carry all that love and loss with me like a part of my soul. Sadly, it still bothers me. But I will continue in my journey of life, trying desperately to forgive myself for carrying all that guilt, shame, and loneliness. I am better because of my past. I am free to love, laugh, and live.

If you struggle with being rejected, or losing a life of love because of someone, or a loss of a parents love that you so desperately seek, I am sorry. It is not a pleasant thing to have to live down or get over. You have to keep going, keep loving, keep accepting love, because you are WORTH IT. Learn to forgive those people who have hurt you, move on. The best thing I did for myself was to love from a distance. Forgiveness came hard but I gave it, to them. I can say I love them and still be the me, I am.

Peace and Love, MwsR

Two Instead Of One

Two instead of one

One died and the other did run

No exchanges or words

This is so absurd

Two instead of one

Left me in different ways

I am forever a stray

It should not be that way!

Two instead of one

Too much guilt and pride for some

Running in a race, but not for fun

I use to look for them to come

Now two instead of one

Mother’s and I should of won

Their love and attention, some

Don’t you think so, huh?

MwsR