Where does one go?

Feeling the stresses of the tasks at hand

Nothing really makes sense in the terrible land

Trying to stay compassionate, yet whole some how

 All this has your head in a doubt filled cloud.

Gone are the days of tranquility and rest

You sometimes see no way out of this mess.

Why does everything get sidetracked?

Especially the things that matter, when they do they are under attack.

The world won’t get better for any of us unless,

WE adapt to the changes , especially when we are distressed.

Where does one go when there is very little hope?

You’ve seen people with that and some wind up on dope.

It is a give and take life.

You give some, you take some and deal with good days, and ones with strife.

No one has a blueprint, although some wish there to be

So, I just have to start this thing, and it has to start within me.

So if you are down, and you are asking where should you go,

Look in your inner self and then you will know.

King of Nothing(my daughter made)

This is the King of Nothing
He isn't very bright
He has two screws inside his skull, that makes him look a fright.
He has a razor blade where once his eye did go
Although no one told me this it's something I should already know
Even when you change the light surrounding him, hardly anything changes
He has "blood" spots on his crown and ribbon
I wonder if whoever did that to him was forgiven.
Beads adorn his chin bone where once he could smile
He won't be doing any smiling for a while.
He is King of Nothing as you could surmise yourself
So for now I will just make him KING of my shelf.

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Heart Moon

There’s a moon in my heart.

It only comes out in times of dark.

You’ll never hear it remark

For it has no words.

Shining yet a shadow over feelings and thoughts.
The purpose of it is quite simple
It is to give new definition

Give a different perspective.

Like all moons it can be seen, not taken
And felt by only its maker.

Without it my heart would have stayed black.

 You could say without it I’d never had made it back..

I’m grateful for my heart moon.An evidence of change..

Cats and me

 

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Me and my cat POPPY

Cats are some of my dearest treasures. I own quite a bunch. I only picked out one, his name is Meow Meow. The rest came to me, one could say. Cats are so smart and each one has their own personality. They are so independent yet they need love and affection, of course it is on their own terms. My cats are spoilt a bit but that is okay with me.

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My cat named TIGGER

Cats can get into some places that you wouldn’t wish them to be, but that is part of the course when you have cats as pets inside your home. I truly think cats are the best pets especially when you go on a trip because they can use their litter boxes and don’t need to be taken out like dogs. I also have dogs and love them all the same as my cats but they require a human to go outside and pee or poop, unlike cats.

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My cat named TABBY

The wise tail that cats have nine lives is one that would be nice to have come true, but in reality that is not true. I have lost cats that meant the world to me, and never is it easy. If you have been blessed to have a cat love you then you know what I mean. I think cats are special and if ever anything chose me it was my cats. When my cat Daisy died, whom I had for fourteen years, I sprinkled daisy seeds everywhere to remind me of her. Those seeds made beautiful daisies that I see every summer and that makes me smile. Daisy was the first cat love I had and she was a great furbaby. I will forever miss her.

So if you ever thought about loving a cat, maybe you should give it a try. They definitely are great and loving. It will be a love you will treasure for sure.

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My cat Meow Meow!
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All my daisies!

 

Quote For the Day

cheerful close up coffee cup

“Things never go the way you expect them to. That’s both the joy and frustration in life. I’m finding as I get older that I don’t mind, though. It’s the surprises that tickle me the most, the things you don’t see coming.”

― Michael Stuhlbarg

Fragment

macro shot of light bulb

Her heart, she displayed like a billboard sign. There was nothing left, at least not much anymore. Even though she discarded a lot of her past baggage somewhere alongside the never-ending road, she still had some that managed to show up, mixed in a lot of her  other emotions.

Whenever she wanted to rest, she would sit a spell and contemplate life. Thoughts that ran through her mind would create a crevis here and there, that she would ultimately fill with more baggage. Her past and it’s harshness created the many seasons of change she would experience through out her journeys on that never-ending road.

If she was lucky enough, there would be people to engage with and create with her a relationship of trust and comfort. Many times though there was people who took more than they ever left her with, in regards of trust and comfort. She always felt like she was never good enough or strong enough, yet each time she received damage of some sort, she stood back up as if to carry on.

Her heart was a crutch, yet it kept her steadily moving down the never-ending road. Sometimes painful more than steady but it held her up, when it was needed. Now it was that she had very little left of that heart. Not really of her own choosing but rather her lot in life and one she had to handle on her own.

She often thought to herself, “If my heart had wings, It could fly out of danger wherever it was”, yet that was a long stretch to say the least. She should know not to imagine far out things because those things never come to pass. At least not for her. It was in the fragments of things left behind, and yet to pass that she stretched her reach for things of hope. “If I could piece together all those fragments, then one day I might be whole again”, she would always say.

Parenting is not easy

Desperately, I look for some re-assurance, some acknowledgement,that everything I have done was handled the right way. I try to stay positive, yet there is so much I question and  then question again. Did I not do all I could to ensure that my family is happy, healthy, and have their needs taken care of?

family of three lying on bed showing feet while covered with yellow blanket
Photo by Simon Matzinger on Pexels.com

Some people in the parenting world question all their actions, thoughts, words and feelings at one point or another. I,myself, have been doing this here lately. I have three kids and they have been my whole world for so long now. Now, they are going to be all graduated from high school, in a matter of weeks, and I am finding myself wondering about so much of my life, in regards to them. I am going to watch my youngest graduate in a few weeks. For some reason though I am feeling some kind of way. No, it isn’t going to be the empty nest yet although I hear that will come later on. For some reason I find myself wishing my kids were still in that middle school age. You know, the age when your kids still wanted to hang out with you and do things with their parents.

For me, raising my kids went fairly well. My husband and I were always “hands on” parents. Meaning we went to all the games of sport our kids choose to participate in and we went to all the awards, and concerts they were in at school and otherwise. Our kids have been our sole purpose in all we do and undertake and work for, other than the basic essentials it takes to live. I wish I had of had parents like us.  I would never say we were the absolute best parents a kid could have, yet I would say we were plenty patient and loving and encouraging.

Here lately though, as I count down the last days of my last kid being in school, I am torn between being happy and being sad. I am definitely proud and relieved to say the least, but still. I know there is times when it seemed like this graduation thing was never coming and my husband and I fretted for the final outcome. But alas, we are almost there. As I sat in an awards ceremony last night I was reminded of all the kids that I have known since they were in kindergarten with my own kid and how much they had grown and how they too were graduating. It hit me hard. It was almost sad enough that I almost teared up. I had worked for the school system and at one point or another I had personally got to know all these kids in one way, shape, or form and it was a proud moment, a happy moment, and a sad one.

I figure this all is normal. I also figure that every parent who reaches this point in their kids lives has the same or along the same thoughts. It just is a time to reflect. It is also a time to be proud and also a sobering time. So many emotions, so much on my mind.  Which brings me to my first paragraph again, in that as a parent you want to know that you have given each of your children a  good start in life that is going to be beneficial to them. You will question your motives, actions, thoughts, and interactions. That is normal to think those things. What you should try to focus on though are the positives, not what if’s and all the blessings you and your family has had along life’s journey together. You might not always be together but you can always keep the bond. All you have to do is HANG ON 🙂

Thanks for reading!!!

 

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