Tag: Little girl

Her Room by MwsR

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It used to be,

A place where she would walk and find herself extremely happy. She often peered out the window looking to find somethings to imagine in her mind. She never wondered about the bad things in the world, because they were something she knew all too well. She insisted that her thoughts be of the kind you can find in fairytales. The kind that makes you smile, make you dream and the ones that made you feel so grateful for the experience you would be having. She loved her pink carpet. She had picked it out all by herself and it was three shades of pink. Each color flowed into the next with a purpose, somewhat. She had crème colored furniture that proudly stood around the room. Each piece has a gold pinning as if to fit a Queen’s taste. She would use each one to its ability and she valued their worth.

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There was a poster canopy bed. She loved using the posts to dance and swing herself around freely as if she were joined by another person, instead of a bedpost. She loved the flowing canopy top that she had overtop. It made her feel as if she was a princess and this was her vale. She often wished that canopy top could hold her and she could lay up on top. Her closet had louvered doors and if you were to be inside of that closet, you could see outside through those doors. She often pretended that this was her little secret place. inside were her friends, the dolls and stuffed animals she had acquired. They often kept her secrets and dreams. She blissfully confided in them. She knew they were her biggest fans and that her words were safe with them. Her room was her own little oasis and she loved being there. She knew inside her room, she was safe to be herself.

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Later it,

Turned into a place with which to hide. A place where she would watch the shadows of feet passing by the bottom of her door. She often wished that she did not have to grow up. Seems like the room had lost its appeal. Now, against her will, she used it as a place to hide away. She knew that room was her only defense. In a world where her voice was silent and her tears flowed, she lost her happiness. She still went into her closet to talk to her dolls and stuffed animals. Often she just spent time, crying. She was not a little girl anymore with dreams and aspirations, and although somewhere in her, she still believed, she had lost her path. Her main concern was to save her physical self and to prevent more harm to come her way. She really wanted her room to save her, but it did not have that kind of power. When she thought of the wondrous place she had in that room, as a young kid, her smile turned upside down. She missed those feelings, missed the innocence of it all.

Now,

Her life has brought her different things. Different house, different dreams, she has now. Often she is grateful for surviving the past and despite the bad that followed her, her room was the best place she ever had. The kind of room that took up residence in her heart. Thinking about her room still makes her smile, still calms her tears.

The end,

MwsR

Thank you for reading 🙂

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More from Blue…short story

photography of person peeking
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The anticipation was so great this day, unlike most days where Blue lived. There was so much attention being given to the house. Dusting, mopping, vacuuming was having to be done. She was only 7 but  she was vacuuming the living room, while trying to over hear what the adults were fussing about.

There was something going on today that had been a long time coming. Her father’s dad was coming. He was her grandfather and for the first time that she could remember she was going to actually get to see and meet him. Blue was so thrilled she could hardly contain her emotions of happiness and thrill. So why were her parents fussing and bickering all morning?

It was nothing unusual to hear them argue or fuss or even to see her father raise his hands to her mom. Today though should be a time for being happy not fussing or fighting with each other. After she got down cleaning her room she tried to ease drop and listen to what was being fussed about. She finally knew what it was. She heard her father state that he hated his dad and that he wished him dead. He also said that he would not go to his funeral if he ever did die.

What in the world was he saying that for? Blue thought that being a family meant that everyone accepted and loved everyone else. Little by little though in her short life she was learning that adults did not get along with each other and that apparently they could never really love anyone. It was a shame that Blue learned this at a young age but she did.  You know how kids think their world is so magical and great? Well, no matter how much Blue wanted to believe that , the adults in her life taught her so much of that was not true.

After lunch Blue was sitting on the couch awaiting her grandfather’s arrival. She had heard her mother tell her sister that he would come after lunch some time. She heard a knock on the door and immediately she knew it was him. Her father went into the back bedroom and shut the door. She thought how odd that was but she was so excited she gave that very little thought. When her mother answered the door, there was this tall man standing in the doorway. He said. “Hello, I am your father in law”. My mother acted as if she was nervous and she said ,”Hello, nice to finally meet you.”  Blue knew this had to be the first time he had seen her mother, how weird, she thought to herself.

Her mother asked him to have a seat at the table in the kitchen and then offered him some coffee, he gladly accepted. He saw Blue peering in  the kitchen and he motioned for her to come see him. Blue cautiously waked into the kitchen and hopped on his lap. She really was observing every little detail about him. She felt so happy at that moment. She noticed he had a finger missing. She rudely asked him why he had no finger. Her mother scolded her and explained that was not nice asking people such a personal thing. He told her mother and her that it was okay. He also said that when he was young he lit a firecracker in his hand and not knowing much about t, it went off in his hand. Blue was surprised at that answer. He mother explained that that was why you don’t touch things like that. He chuckled and said, “Yes I did some crazy things in my young life.”

Blue was thoroughly enjoying her time with her grandfather, but her father had not come out of his room the whole time. She started to tell her grandfather that her father was there, when her mother motioned for her to be quite. How odd she thought, after all it was her father’s own dad. Once again for Blue she was not able to understand this whole situation but she tried to focus on her grandfather while she could. He explained that he wanted to tell us he was moving and had come to say goodbye and let us know. Blue suddenly became very sad. She told him she did not want him to go, he exclaimed that he knew his son did not want to see him so he had better get going and that he was happy to had met her, and one day he said maybe she could visit him. Blue told him she very much wanted to. Her mother walked him to the door and told him goodbye and thanked him for coming. Blue and her sister waved goodbye to him through the screen door until he got out of sight.

Blue wondered in her mind if she was ever going to see him again. She never did. She always cherish in her mind that one day she met him. Although she did not know why her father did not like him, she thought he was special. His few hours spent there seemed liked a short time, but that did not make them any less special to her. Once she got the courage to ask her father why he did not love his dad or want to see him, and he told her” That man is not my dad, he is a mean SOB, and I hate him.” What a message to convey to a small child about someone who she called grandfather.

Just goes to show you that adults don’t ever try to change, she thought to herself. Blue just did not want to ever grow up to be like that, and she determined in her mind that regardless of circumstances she would not.

 

 

MwsR <3

Thank you for reading 🙂

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