Thoughts – Page 18 – Mws R Writings

Gone From This Old World….

Struggling hard to come to terms with this feeling

But never relief in sight.

I even dreamt about you, oh so many times.

What you would be like, what would you say

Only if your life hadn’t ended that way.

I have a picture or two but not really enough

I think I have studied them a lot, etched you in my mind

What my tears and heart cannot find.

I see you liked cats, wow, that is so me

I favor you too, a lot, it would seem.

I know you smoked Marlboro cigarettes

That you liked to play practical jokes,

I know your eyes were blue, as mine are,

You not being here has left a terrible scar.

I so would had loved to show you my life,

Tell you stories of things and tell you goodnight.

It just wasn’t our time, I guess

Happy endings for us were not meant to be.

I still think of you as often as I breath.

Gone from this old world, but not truly from me

See, you were my father and always will be.

MwsR ❤

Bittersweet and special were the days with the sounds of running through our house from our three children. When I think of them, I have a smile on my face. Our three kids were close in age and the first two were girls, with the last one being a boy. The many adventures and fun we had during their childhood. I believe for many reasons it kept me young at heart. I was able to stay home during their school years, not work, and often I feel very blessed to have had that opportunity. Kids grow up so fast, it would seem if you blinked for just a millisecond, the time would surely pass you by.

Our oldest daughter was an artsy” kind of gal. She literally spent most of her free time drawing or creating some abstract “thing-a-ma-gig” whenever she could. She would spend hours finding things very small and tiny to craft together and create something genius. We were always amazed at what her hands and mind came up with. She spent a lot of time studying creatures of the outdoors too. I use to brag that she knew everything about everything in the animal world. That was not far from the truth, she really did learn facts and pile them into her smart head. She retained her knowledge of things really well. I think sometimes she must have been born with this stuff already in her”wiring”.

Our second child, was our little song bird. She always ran towards the music side of things. She stayed in chorus groups all through high school and learnt the piano well enough to fill in for her music teacher at times. She was always the social one of our two daughters and she grew to be taller than me, which isn’t standing taller than most of her peers she felt often time, awkward. Her dad and I though thought she was great anyway. She used that height to play sports and run in track so I’d say that was a blessing for her. She hated being the youngest daughter but she did like the fact she had a younger brother.

Our son just graduated from high school and he is very talented as well. Saying this , of course from a mother’s perspective, but it is true. He taught hisself how to play the string instruments very well. He also has a wonderful singing voice. He , like my youngest daughter excelled in music. He stayed in choir all through his highschool. His talents helped him to become more social and he stands tall at 5’10” .The two last kids got their height from their dad. My son, like all boys, wanted to be tall and he got his wish.

I am very proud of the many talents each of my kids possess. The main thing though as their mom is that they are happy, truly happy. I would not want them to ever feel disappointments, or sadness or defeat. Truth is though our lives were not made to be without any of those feelings. If we learn to gather things from things we go through, we will be the better for it. Sure it sucks, feeling those kinds of things but it is necessary. That way when the best, happiest, most sweetest moments come, we can enjoy them all the more. As a mother I want to always see them smile in the end, after whatever comes their way.

Isn’t funny how we can get so caught up in a moment or situation that we fail to see what really matters, or what we really have when we have it? I sometimes do for myself, and I miss my kids younger days when it seemed there was not much of worry, or anything else that would harm their spirits. As parent we must not fail to remember those times, or those moments when things were special. We must also try to pick our children up when we can and show them it will be okay. Sometimes there are no answers to things and we simply must try to walk them through it. I am not a parent genius or expert, but I know that we only get this one life and that our children grow up so fast.

Take time to remember, reflect, redirect and renew.

Kids grow up too.

I hear , rain

There is a storm going on as I write this blog. It has lots of thunder, lightning, and rain, as most storms do. Usually I look at a storm in a more cautious way than I am tonight. Tonight, I am thankful for the rain. I have a garden that is drinking up all this rain, which in turn will benefit it and me, so that makes me thankful. Usually rain, storms keep me indoors wishing I was outside. I usually complain and go to unplugging my electronics that I hold dear, like my computer, and my phone. I really get annoyed sometimes. If a storm is really bad, I often sit in worry over things I have outside or the “what if’s”, in terms of damage or being without power.

Much of a person’s life can be related to things in nature if you only look. I feel like storms are relative to a person’s struggles through out their life. Sometimes the “storms” a person has are simply a rough patch, perhaps a struggle, possibly a time with many downs instead of ups. I think of storms in relation to a person’s life as a sort of wake up call. To me storms are often things that come out of no where often times and they bring with them lots of noise, rain and sometimes strong winds, perhaps hail too. In their wake they leave broken trees, damaged buildings or damaged things. In our own life we have moments that feel like this too. It is possible for damage to happen that we cannot repair. Often times we lose something we really liked or loved. In life we often loose something that means something to us. In retrospect, it can be a good thing. If you relate the rain, storm, to a person’s life, one might see it is often needed to help “us”/things grow. Sometimes a person has to experience this. Although it is difficult to “weather” a storm in one’s life, it is not impossible. I have seen beautiful people come from experiencing the worst storms in their life. I have also seen people who did not handle storms well. By not handling storms well they missed out on something that could have been phenomenal, much like a thunderstorm.

One thing I am still learning and have learnt from life, is that nothing should always be easy, convenient, or quiet. We should experience up’s and down’s and things that grab our attention as well as things that shakes us. To be human is not always easy, but there will be good times after bad, happy times after the sad, and hope after despair. Storms or not we will always have changes.

Time to embrace those changes or maybe look at them differently, perhaps!

Pieces from a torn heart

blue-torn-heart-vector-illustration-30630399

Hurt but never too tired to fight. Drifting in this mindless game, afraid to let doubt enter my brain.

I hear all those voices that tell me to turn and walk away, but I’m too stubborn to do it that way.

I have lots of love that keeps my heart strong.

Although there are pieces scattered from the wrong that has damaged my heart.

I cry the kind of tears that lets out pain.

I also have tears that keep the rest of me sane.

Being me has paid a toll for sure. I can feel it when I second guess my self, and when I am alone to think.

Pieces of a torn heart will never again be whole but somewhere, some way I manage to keep my soul.

Whispers fill my mind with doubt, snaps from conversations with those I love remind me of how little I matter at times.

It is hard to take but I somehow mange to let it leave my consciousness so I can continue, yet again.

I fall sometimes so hard, I swear I am forever broken. Guess what though? I seem to rise despite the hurt from it all.

As if I was a rubber band, I snap back and look in place where I belong.

Is it me or does everyone have some sort of torn heart? I know I am not the only one whose pieces are all out of sorts.

The days I live through seem to have a beginning and an end to them, yet I repeat moments in my life over, and over again.

Almost like a clown working for another’s applause or attention, I find myself saying things and doing things I thought I had forgotten how to.

It seems I have a mechanism that I use to hold my heart’s pieces together.

It is one that hold’s tightly to the slightest of joys, the weakest of effort, and the humbling of pride for even a milli- second. It is when I need to and with whomever, or whatever is my focus.

If you have pieces of a torn heart, do you find something quick enough to grab all them and hold them in place? Or do you take your time and give each piece attention needed for as long as it takes to get them put back right? I guess that would be a matter of personal choice.

I would think that if you can you will try to fix the cracks or tears or at least you would do the best job to make it whole again, despite the time it takes or the effort you have to put forth. As so you should.

Hearts were made to take the worst but give the best. They are special. If you are lucky enough for someone to give you theirs, try and take good care of it. If it gets torn and damaged it will never truly be the same.

Eyes that see

Inside us all, there are ideas, perspectives, thoughts, opinions, and more that have been engrained in us from our life around others. Those things mentioned affect our ways of treating others, either subconsciously or consciously. MwsR

Many times, too many really to recall, I have been before others singing. It was something that I really thought was my “calling” when I was younger. Now, I am not so sure it was a “calling” but more of a “witness”to others. Not long after I had kids it was that I stopped singing for a public audience. I think the part of why I did it when younger was simply not there in my life that had started of my being a mother. Don’t get me wrong, I really thought I could sing and wanted to do it, especially if people would listen, or want to listen. I liked the attention it brought me, and on a personal note, I liked witnessing to others what my heart knew already. I sang in a lot of different venues, but mostly in a church setting. There is where my heart soared when I sang. I felt like there was so much in me that if I did not sing, I would surely burst from it all building up inside.

There was so much music did for me, that music said, and still does today. If a person can relate to another through something that is entertaining, brings a person much joy, or just plain ole speaks to their heart, well then you should do that. One of my favorite songs to sing , especially in church settings was, “My Father’s Eyes” by Amy Grant.

Link below;

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/a/amy+grant/fathers+eyes_20007695.html

This song really spoke to me. It wrote about trying to see people and their circumstances, etc, with eyes full of compassion, and eyes that could feel. I really understood these lyrics because I felt I was always an “empath”from as far as I can remember. I think it does not take a great person to follow the lyrics of this song. I think it takes a person who genuinely wants to see the good in people. A person perhaps, that knows how to empathize because they were treated with empathy, or maybe because there had never been any empathy shown towards them. In this song there is kindness, feeling, and it is about reaching a level where the person can be “Christ-Like”, in a religious standpoint.

http://www.metrolyrics.com/fathers-eyes-lyrics-amy-grant.html

I believe Amy Grant wanted her public audience to be more perceptive to each other. I think that she wanted people to emulate Christ’s love. The Christ you read about in the Bible. Regardless of however you belief or worship, you can relate to this song in one way, shape, or fashion.

Read more about her here, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amy_Grant

Some of the lyrics from the song “My Father’s Eyes”, I have quoted below;

I may not be every mother’s dream for her little girl
And my face may not grace the mind of everyone in the world
But that’s all right, as long as I can have one wish I pray
When people look inside my life, I want to hear them say

She’s got her Father’s eyes
Her Father’s eyes
Eyes that find the good in things
When good is not around
Eyes that find the source of help
When help just can’t be found

Eyes full of compassion
Seeing every pain
Knowing what you’re going through
And feeling it the same

So the message I hope you gather from reading this blog, isn’t that I love to sing, or that I quit singing in public. The message isn’t about Amy Grant, although I do love her music. The message I hope you get from this blog is

That we all are needed in this world. We all have our struggles, our issues, our downfalls. Despite all that, we keep each other going through encouragement, feeling for another, helping one another, and simply trying to have EYES THAT SEE what another might have going on in their life. You don’t have to be a special person or one that came from some special or privileged background, to reach out and have compassion.We are all in this life for a special and unique reason. It does not matter if you know what that is or not. What really matters is when we get outside our “little bubble world” and actually have EYES THAT SEE.

I am not anyone special or better than anyone else, I just care to see what other’s may have going on.

Thank you for reading!

Thoughts in a poem

Are we ever really sure…

Sometimes things are too much

Too much for us to handle.

Sometimes we are like a clasp on a sandal

Easy to work but with not much fore thought.

Sometimes we can fail to work

To serve our purpose.

When clasps don’t work any longer we replace it with another one.

Clasps serve one purpose ,they are to hold things together,

To keep things from separating.

Sometimes we loose the intended purpose.

Too often we just see this one thing…

When there are many more all around us.

If we were meant to only have one clasp, or better yet given one clasp to last…

What care we would had taken of it!

QUOTE for the day

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kahlil_Gibran_(sculptor)

Cats and me

Cats are some of my dearest treasures. I own quite a bunch. I only picked out one, his name is Meow Meow. The rest came to me, one could say. Cats are so smart and each one has their own personality. They are so independent yet they need love and affection, of course it is on their own terms. My cats are spoilt a bit but that is okay with me.

Cats can get into some places that you wouldn’t wish them to be, but that is part of the course when you have cats as pets inside your home. I truly think cats are the best pets especially when you go on a trip because they can use their litter boxes and don’t need to be taken out like dogs. I also have dogs and love them all the same as my cats but they require a human to go outside and pee or poop, unlike cats.

The wise tail that cats have nine lives is one that would be nice to have come true, but in reality that is not true. I have lost cats that meant the world to me, and never is it easy. If you have been blessed to have a cat love you then you know what I mean. I think cats are special and if ever anything chose me it was my cats. When my cat Daisy died, whom I had for fourteen years, I sprinkled daisy seeds everywhere to remind me of her. Those seeds made beautiful daisies that I see every summer and that makes me smile. Daisy was the first cat love I had and she was a great furbaby. I will forever miss her.

So if you ever thought about loving a cat, maybe you should give it a try. They definitely are great and loving. It will be a love you will treasure for sure.

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I may not be every mother’s dream for her little girl And my face may not grace the mind of everyone in the world But that’s all right, as long as I can have one wish I pray When people look inside my life, I want to hear them say

She’s got her Father’s eyes Her Father’s eyes Eyes that find the good in things When good is not around Eyes that find the source of help When help just can’t be found

Eyes full of compassion Seeing every pain Knowing what you’re going through And feeling it the same

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I may not be every mother’s dream for her little girl
And my face may not grace the mind of everyone in the world
But that’s all right, as long as I can have one wish I pray
When people look inside my life, I want to hear them say

She’s got her Father’s eyes
Her Father’s eyes
Eyes that find the good in things
When good is not around
Eyes that find the source of help
When help just can’t be found

Eyes full of compassion
Seeing every pain
Knowing what you’re going through
And feeling it the same