Category: Writings

When

Waiting for so long with so much in between the wait, the blinks.

Trembling in anticipation but afraid to make final contact.

Just once she wanted the things she wished for.

That happily ever after she dreamed of.

Trudging through each day barely making sense of it all

Was she living in a dream or was she just that small?

Bartering for every second chance she ever had

Holding tight to what made her glad.

Restless was her soul and mind

She knew one day she would finally matter.

Or would she?

After all it was not her fault she was uprooted

Taken away from her heritage, her blood.

People acted as if she was not much

Just some burden that they really had to watch.

Her aspirations turned into dust when she was torn between an angering hearts rust.

Years went by as they still do

Couldn’t recall but only a few, when she let her soul and mind rest.

For she was constantly weeding out the un-important from the best.

Not that there was an over abundance of that.

Her “when” just got up one day and left her, it would seem

Because they are crumbled somewhere between real and her dreams.

Mws R

 

Beneath Me

Been here before…

There is nothing more

I struggle each time

You enter my troubled mind,

I fall only to see if you would come

It isn’t fun

I hate the circumstance and pretense

I often time feel so dense.

Beneath me it really is

To tie up all my love and time into this

Into something that really isn’t, is it?

I will walk with my head up not down

The only thing I will want is to really be found

Beneath me, or is it, to beg or plea

I just thought maybe you really loved me.

                                                                                                        Mws R

 

 

Pieces from a torn heart

 

blue-torn-heart-vector-illustration-30630399

Hurt but never too tired to fight.  Drifting in this mindless game, afraid to let doubt enter my brain.

I hear all those voices that tell me to turn and walk away, but I’m too stubborn to do it that way.

 I have lots of love that keeps my heart strong.

Although there are pieces scattered from the wrong that has damaged my heart.

I cry the kind of tears that lets out pain.

I also  have tears that keep the rest of me sane.

Being me has paid a toll for sure. I can feel it when I second guess my self, and when I am alone to think.

Pieces of a torn heart will never again be whole but somewhere, some way I manage to keep my soul.

Whispers fill my mind with doubt, snaps from conversations with those I love remind me of how little I matter at times.

It is hard to take but I somehow mange to let it leave my consciousness so I can continue, yet again.

I fall sometimes so hard, I swear I am forever broken.  Guess what though? I seem to rise despite the hurt from it all.

As if I was a rubber band, I snap back and look in place where I belong.

 Is it me or does everyone have some sort of torn heart? I know I am not the only one whose pieces are all out of sorts.

The days I live through seem to have a beginning and an end to them, yet I repeat moments in my life over, and over again.

Almost like a clown working for another’s applause or attention, I find myself saying things and doing things I thought I had forgotten how to.

It seems I have a mechanism that I use to hold my heart’s pieces together.

It is one that hold’s tightly to the slightest of joys, the weakest of effort, and the humbling of pride for even a milli- second. It is when I need to and with whomever, or whatever is my focus. 

If you have pieces of a torn heart, do you find something quick enough to grab all them and hold them in place? Or do you take your time and give each piece attention needed for as long as it takes to get them put back right? I guess that would be a matter of personal choice.

I would think that if you can you will try to fix the cracks or tears or at least you would do the best job to make it whole again, despite the time it takes or the effort you have to put forth. As so you should.

 Hearts were made to take the worst but give the best. They are special. If you are lucky enough for someone to give you theirs, try and take good care of it. If it gets torn and damaged it will never truly be the same. 

Thoughts in a poem

Are we ever really sure… 


Sometimes things are too much

Too much for us to handle.


Sometimes we are like a clasp on a sandal

Easy to work but with not much fore thought.


Sometimes we can fail to work

To serve our purpose. 


When clasps don’t work any longer we replace it with another one.

Clasps serve one purpose ,they are to hold things together,

To keep things from separating. 


Sometimes we loose the intended purpose.

Too often we just see this one thing…

When there are many more all around us.


If we were meant to only have one clasp,  or better yet given one clasp to last…

What care we would had  taken of it!

Onward… my poem

Onward


No going back,

Not anymore.

No tracing steps that led to the broken doors.

Heart can’t rebuild from what lies behind

I think I have tortured enough, my mind.

This is just a small fraction, I need to stay blind.

Head up ,no bowing, no more

None of us are perfect, not anymore.

Once we were babies , that is when we could explore.

Not today, not at our age

There is always going to be resentment and rage.

It is like we all are performers and life is the stage.

Whatever lies ahead

Let it be kind, with nothing for us to dread.

Always remember the worst thoughts start  in our own heads.

Trembling like a kid being punished

That is not what or how it should be , that’s rubbish.

We should be empowered not told to hush.

Again, no one is perfect, no one is above

We all survive,  with heartaches and love

We all strive to make it, to the great above.

I say , “Onward”

Let’s move forward.

Endless Love

When others know how to share love with one another

There sometimes is a  trail that leads back to their mother.

I know you think it is silly, absurd or extreme

But I am telling you that can be the joining “seam”.

If you are lucky enough to see your mother’s ways

If she has led you to some of your brightest days

Then there is the “seam’ that all other relationships come from.

 

Just think for a minute, second, or a while

Of all your childhood and what brought you your smiles.

I bet your mom was in there among those things you thought about

That is if you aren’t one of the ones whose heart was left out.

If your mom wasn’t there it certainly left its mark

I know this personally in my  own life’s journey, I’ve had to embark.

 

My trail though was made despite all of this

I made my own life in the shadows of all that I  had wished.

I found me a love from a select chosen few

I call them my family, and I still feel like I’ve been rescued.

No nothing is perfect, seldom it really is

Endless love, it’s possible, either way I guess.

 

 

 

Where does one go?

Feeling the stresses of the tasks at hand

Nothing really makes sense in the terrible land

Trying to stay compassionate, yet whole some how

 All this has your head in a doubt filled cloud.

Gone are the days of tranquility and rest

You sometimes see no way out of this mess.

Why does everything get sidetracked?

Especially the things that matter, when they do they are under attack.

The world won’t get better for any of us unless,

WE adapt to the changes , especially when we are distressed.

Where does one go when there is very little hope?

You’ve seen people with that and some wind up on dope.

It is a give and take life.

You give some, you take some and deal with good days, and ones with strife.

No one has a blueprint, although some wish there to be

So, I just have to start this thing, and it has to start within me.

So if you are down, and you are asking where should you go,

Look in your inner self and then you will know.

King of Nothing(my daughter made)

This is the King of Nothing
He isn't very bright
He has two screws inside his skull, that makes him look a fright.
He has a razor blade where once his eye did go
Although no one told me this it's something I should already know
Even when you change the light surrounding him, hardly anything changes
He has "blood" spots on his crown and ribbon
I wonder if whoever did that to him was forgiven.
Beads adorn his chin bone where once he could smile
He won't be doing any smiling for a while.
He is King of Nothing as you could surmise yourself
So for now I will just make him KING of my shelf.

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