Love, Life, and Caring
By MwsR
There are connections
Although subtle and yet uplifting things
Something that takes the bite out of the sting.
Warming inside the heart, they work
They come without a note or a gift
They’re felt in the heart’s path, when it needs a lift.
Cannot contain it,
For they’re not to be owned or kept
Not to be useless or did you forget?
We each have the opportunity to use these
Each day and till the end.
They are love and life and caring, my friend.
Another Part of Our Minds,,,,By MwsR
I think there is actually a place,
A wonderous place where you can set your mind at ease.
A wondrous place where you can set your mind at ease.
Another dimension of the now we know
It is what we have in our minds.
See the ability to transport to another place with other feelings
Is simply, there.
There among the clutter, the business of life.
It is purely up to you where you choose to go.
Could be for a minute , for an hour or longer.
Depends upon what you want to invest into the travel.
Depends upon what you want to invest in the travel.
You can take with you knowledge of things past, or possibly things you have not experienced yet.
There are many seasons there, it just depends on the factors that there are.
It could be raining or cold, possible windy and sunny all on the same day.
That is how it is with our heads.
This is how it is with our heads.
There is so much to them, even so much we keep in our subconscious.
I think there is for sure a place.
A wondrous place where you can set your mind at ease.
A wondrous place where you can set your mind at ease.
Another part of us we sometimes fail to see.
It is where we have the ability in our minds to feel something different than in our lives.
There, among the clutter, the hectic business of life, you can control it.
I had a dream of sorts last night. It was peculiar and hard to read. I did not write it down, but I should have. I seldom talk to anyone about my dreams unless they were particularly disturbing or funny. This one was about coming face to face with my ?. I remember seeing the scruff on his unshaven face, his wrinkles around the ends of his eyes. He had sort of a glow like the sun on his face, yet his face was tilted to look at me sideways. He was smiling a smirk type of smile. He was not saying anything. Which if you knew him in real life was his trade mark. He seldom spoke unless he was talking to someone in the family, or a “have to situation.”
He was the one who truly messed up my life. He willingly tore the trust notion I had inside of myself, out from my body. I would not in a hundred years, want to dream of him. Never. I do not know what this short, yet, the penetrating dream was about. I do not want to interpret it, because it needs to be the farthest from my mind. This dream, if you can call it that, was a dream where SMIRKISM was at its profound meaning. My ?, no doubt, and that terrible smirk. The sun glowing on his face as if he were an angel, comes to mind. Ha, no angel there. No glowing from him ever was shown. Only bitterness and dark.
I hate those moments. The ones where you wake in a tizzy of sorts and find that you had a weird or strange dream. I especially hate the bad dreams and the ones that make you awake with tears in your eyes. Those are most disturbing and chilling. Have you ever had any of those kinds of dreams? I hope you know oyu are not alone, in that I have too. Thank goodness we awake from them.
Anyhow,
Dreams can make us cry, or smile. They are those things, I believe that we suppress, subconsciously. Perhaps a stressor of another time or place, or with another person brought the dream to your forefront. I am not sure. What I do know is those things can serve, like most anything else, as reminders to us. Perhaps they can make us change a road we are going down, such as in health, or relationships. Maybe the dream can help remind us of things that we have not let go of, and should. They are just that, dreams. I like the good dreams, and the ones where I am remembering another time when life was great.
That is what I had on my mind this evening. So, I shall see you on this side of the rainbow…
MwsR
…the Game
By MwsR
Why do we think there is always time?
What is it that makes us think we are free from death or separation?
It is a constant mind game that we allow ourselves to play.
The object is denial and the rules are not written.
Each one of us are individually creating a falsehood for ourselves.
By not choosing to be a realist, we become avoiders.
We avoid thinking the truth because frankly, the truth scares people.
It is a self created “bubble” we live within.
Choices are for players in our game.
It is us who determine which things we will choose to believe,
It is the lies that we tell ourselves that will inevitably lead to our capture.
There are no real winners, only players.
Each thing we bring to the game has it’s own place and purpose.
We can play the hand of “luck” or we can make sure to strategically place our heart somewhere, or our mind and soul.
It is a game that lasts forever, well until the game is destroyed from continuous play and action.
Self-worth and self-love are key instigators as to who will take the lead or who will fall behind.
If we are lucky enough along the way there will be other players that for lack of a clue, will inadvertently hand us the chance to surpass them.
On and on till either fate steps in or we can’t play any longer.
If you have no conscience you will more than likely gather your share of highlights or prizes through out, in the game. Only temporary they are though.
But if you have a conscience, that you keep at your side, you will struggle with the ultimate prize or in taking the lead.
Which one will you choose, which game player are you?
Without you,
I had to learn to be a mom
Sometimes that meant wallowing in my own self pity
I had to love those who were unlovable
Had to heal things I really knew nothing about
Taking pride in the few accomplishments I had, for myself
Learned how to do balancing acts
Forgiveness and wanting you back
Tried to reach out a few times
That backfired on me, so I stopped
I had to continue dreaming when hope was scarce
It was because your love was too.
Without You
I stopped breathing naturally, and started inhaling deeply
My heart became prisoner to the things my mind knew
My spirit, well it took a nose dive or two
Nights were the hardest, and still are
My mind thinks in coordination with my heart,
The brokenness has never left
Your name still brings me pain
I think sometimes I would be better off insane
Without You
I started again
I picked up the pieces and ran
I held them together on a whisper and a prayer
The moments I was alone, and no one was there
Was the hardest and still can be
If I forget the me, in who I wished, or once believed
I want to be happy, be truly happy
Be comfortable in all my efforts and changes
Without You
I changed myself into the person I had to become
The one whose heart never ever won
Nor smiled for so long
The one with out you .
Don’t pretend to know me,
To love me
Or feel anything for me
But a mere acquaintance of mine.
You simply could not be real close
Or real
With me
I think this is a crappy way to be
Since you never tried to know the real me
Or experience life with me
Love me
Need Or want me
Just close your ear to the mention of my name
I cannot stand the fakeness, it is insane.
Teasing my brain.
Mirror by MwsR
“I am good enough,” she said to herself.
“I am not the prettiest, not the littlest but I ain’t ugly,” she continued as she looked in the mirror.
Despite her repeated efforts to make herself feel important or good about herself. Ultimately, the one thing she never could forget was the way she had been treated, but…
No mirror will help your soul shine…
NO twist of fate can control your mind.
It is only when you, yourself can take off all those self-doubts, all those busted dreams, and scrape up your own courage to see yourself as a fallible, imperfect creature that you will feel as you always should of, about yourself. Inhibited only by yourself and not the opinions of others.
I was adopted and once had two mothers. Once thought I was loved beyond measure. Seems like neither one of them were unselfish enough to love me whole heartedly. I have since started a new life, with a family I love and cherish. I had to go forward in life and stop reaching behind into my past. I am without one mother , she died five years ago. I am without the other one because she chose her life , in denial, and running from things I reminded her of.
Although, I loved them both. I have had to remember that is not a reflection on me. That is not who I can and will be. I do not have to carry all that love and loss with me like a part of my soul. Sadly, it still bothers me. But I will continue in my journey of life, trying desperately to forgive myself for carrying all that guilt, shame, and loneliness. I am better because of my past. I am free to love, laugh, and live.
If you struggle with being rejected, or losing a life of love because of someone, or a loss of a parents love that you so desperately seek, I am sorry. It is not a pleasant thing to have to live down or get over. You have to keep going, keep loving, keep accepting love, because you are WORTH IT. Learn to forgive those people who have hurt you, move on. The best thing I did for myself was to love from a distance. Forgiveness came hard but I gave it, to them. I can say I love them and still be the me, I am.
Peace and Love, MwsR
Two instead of one
One died and the other did run
No exchanges or words
This is so absurd
Two instead of one
Left me in different ways
I am forever a stray
It should not be that way!
Two instead of one
Too much guilt and pride for some
Running in a race, but not for fun
I use to look for them to come
Now two instead of one
Mother’s and I should of won
Their love and attention, some
Don’t you think so, huh?
MwsR
Mws R Writings 